Page 31 of Willow
Resting my elbows on the side of her head, our eyes locked, I enter her inch by fucking inch. Our breath hitches, our eyes close, and we’re in pure bliss. “Eyes on me, love. I want to watch you come all over my cock.”
I make love to this beautiful woman without restraint. I leave my heart in her hands and when her body quakes and my name is on her lips, I give her my all. Every part of me. She will never know, but I have enough love for the both of us.
“Time to shower. We need to get ready to leave soon.”
“I have a feeling it’s going to be another emotional day.”
“Emotions are not a bad thing, Willow. If we repress how we’re feeling at any given moment, that emotion will keep coming back. Stopping us from healing and moving forward.” Just like I thought, she touches her necklace and holds it tightly in her hand. Maybe one day, she will open up to me. Today is not that day.
Shortly after, we walk into the venue together and face the second grueling day of auditions. Thank god we only have twenty-five bands today compared to forty yesterday. I seriously don’t think I could have handled that today. Willow and I barely slept last night and it’s taking its toll.
Half-way through, I turn to her. “How you holding up?”
“I’m fine. How about you, Boss Man?” She made me smile, and I know that was her intention all along. Always trying to put others before herself.
“If you’re fine, then so am I.” I don’t give two fucks as I reach under the table and grab her hand. Let someone challenge me today. I’m in a don’t-mess-with-me mindset, and I’d like to see someone try. Making her smile, and keeping Cadence healthy and loved is my mission in life.
I won’t apologize for being impatient, and if a band takes that stage and I’m not feeling it, I raise my hand to stop them. Whether it was three minutes or thirty wouldn’t have made a difference. I make a mental note to thankThe Sinful Sevenwhen I get home. This year’s bands can’t even compare to their caliber. Granted, they’d been at it for years when we stumbled upon them, but, nonetheless. They’re far better than this by years.
When the last band hits its final note, I stand. “Thank you all for coming out this weekend. The judges and I will be back shortly with our final decision and announce the winner of this year’s Battle of the Bands.”
All five of us stand, and walk into the conference room to our left. I’ve already made up my mind, but of course the vote has to be unanimous.
“Write down your top five picks and then we’ll compare to see if we have any matches.” With heads bent, we scribble them on a blank piece of paper. When the last pen’s flat on the table, it’s go-time. “I’ll read the names I have written down. If it’s on your list, put a check mark near that name.”
For the next two hours, we’re in a heated debate. I don’t give a flying fuck about what they think. All I want is to go home to put my daughter to bed. That’s when I take back control. “I’ll make it easier for all of you. My top two bands areBorn AvengedandEternal Darkness. Pick your favorite and let’s go announce the winner.” I think everyone’s dumbfounded by my temper, but it’s exactly how it all went down last year, too. As Willow so affectionately says, I’m the Boss Man.
Ten minutes later, we walk out of the room ready to break hopes and dreams. But for one lucky band, it will be a chance of a lifetime.
“The winner of the Battle of the Bands for 2021 isBorn Avenged.Congratulations! Kate, my PA, will be your go-to with everything.”
Shortly after, Willow and I are on the road heading home. If traffic is light, I just might make it home in time to tuck in my sweet girl before her head hits the pillow.
19
WILLOW
I don’t regretgoingto Brooklyn with Caleb this weekend. And more importantly, I don’t regret going to his room and sleeping with him. Technically, we didn’t sleep much since we spent all of our time having sex. It was exhausting in the best way possible. Caleb was attentive to my every desire. Always putting my needs before his own. It was exciting and very intoxicating. I just wish we had more than a few days.
Ever since he dropped me off, I’ve had plenty of time to speculate about what happened. Was he just a distraction to pass the time? I hope not. I’ve no idea where Caleb fits into all of this. Or if he even does, to be honest, but I’d like to find out. Yes, it’s true he pursued me and there’s no doubt in my mind that he wants me. I can only blame myself since I’m the one who took our flirting and friendship to the next level. Okay, Willow. Now what are you going to do? Damned if I know. Last night when he dropped me off, he kissed me like he didn’t want to let me go. Then again, there were no promises to call or when I’d see him again. That’s too bad since I want to fulfil his fantasy of being sprawled out on his baby grand while his head is buried between my thighs.
It makes me question whether or not I’ll ever find someone who I can confide in. The way that Lucas and Jet found Abby and Quinn. Could Caleb be my person? Maybe. I feel like he’d be someone I could confide in without judgement. I’d be able to tell him the real story of what happened that night. Without fear of my mother telling me to hush and keep quiet. There was a time I blamed her for what happened. Not anymore. It was my father who pulled the trigger, she just picked up the pieces while dealing with the aftermath. Now that I’m older, I know she had her reasons. She was only trying to protect me.
If Mom knew my dilemma, she’d say the phone works both ways. It’s the truth. We live in the twenty-first century, which translates to “I can call him”. I don’t need to wait for him. Would that be too pushy? Maybe. After only one weekend, I’m already invested. I knew that would happen. My heart always took the lead, and old habits die hard.
This weekend beat all of my expectations. It was both amazing and exhausting rolled into one. And I take pride in knowing I made a difference in the outcome of the bands. Caleb’s first choice was the same as mine. That right there speaks volumes about how musically in sync we are. Physically, too! I might not be on the same emotional plane as he is, but then again, he hasn’t witnessed what I have, so I won’t hold it against him.
Now, if I can just get through the next ten days, we’ll be flying into Boston for our first concert on theResilienttour. We’ll be so busy, there won’t be any time for me to think, let alone hook up with my handsome Boss Man. Well, you know what they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Which is a bunch of BS if you ask me. I suppose time will tell.
I’ll just have to find something to occupy my time until then. Staying in this house isn’t one of them. Running up the stairs, I change into my running gear, grab my earbuds and phone, and head out the door. I know for a fact I won’t be running into Jet this time so that’s a good thing. Just me and my music while I try purging my head of all thoughts of Caleb.
Instead of starting from home, I decide to go to Central Park instead. It’s safer than using the trails like I did that day I ran into Jet. Ever since then I have a fear that it could have been someone else. Knowing the outcome could have been very different. Something I never thought about too much before. It might have been a good thing he did what he did, made me more aware of what’s around me. Which is something we all need to do more often.
Getting into my brand new Benz is surreal. I still can’t believe Caleb was thoughtful enough to buy me a car. Well, I call it a loaner since in my eyes it’s not really mine until I pay him back.
There are a lot of runners out today, which has me feeling good about my decision. Hopping out of the car, I check that I have everything I need first. I do a few stretches so I don’t cramp up and then begin. I have my favorite playlist on and the sun’s shining. It’s a beautiful day for a run.
Running is addicting. It’s funny how I always forget this when I don’t do it often enough. I’m in the groove, and although I know I’m not alone out here, it feels as though I am. I’m lost in thought, listening to my music, and when my endorphins kick in, there’s nothing I can’t do. I don’t think about how much pain I’ll be in tomorrow, just the feel of the wind on my face. The beating of my heart and the way my arms and legs push me forward. It’s euphoric. Much like sex, I guess you could say. Best I don’t think about that now or I’ll fall flat on my face.