Page 10 of Triple Protection

My head falls into my hands. "I almost called the agency and asked for three ugly bodyguards instead."

Courtney laughs. "You're so fucked."

I shake my head, groaning, "I know!"

"And how does that make you feel?" Courtney teases. We laugh about that line and how therapists get paid just to ask how people feel for an hour.

"Nervous, panicked, and like I'm going to need to invest in some more heavy-duty B.O. Bs." Surprisingly, Courtney had recommended B.O.B. s, or Battery-Operated Boyfriends, as a form of self-love and self-care since I wasn't getting love from anyone else.

"Shit girl, good luck. I couldn't imagine having three hot new roommates and not being able to touch them."

"You're not helping!" I admonish, shaking my head and laughing.

"I'll pray for you."

I twist my lips and glare at her.

"That's not the worst part! Last night I didn't want to sleep in my closet anymore, so I asked one of the boys if I could sleep on the couch next to him. Only to wake up spooning his thigh."

Courtney throws her head back and barks out a loud laugh until she reaches forwards and mutes herself. I glare at her silently laughing until she wipes a tear from her cheek and unmutes herself.

"Oh my God girl, I'm sorry, that's just too fucking good!?"

My cheeks heat. "It gets worse." I groan.

Her bright eyes sparkle at me in mischief and delight.

"When I apologized, he called me 'Babygirl'. And I swear I felt like Anastasia from 50 shades, ready to kneel in front of him and obey his every command."

This time, Courtney has the decency to mute herself first before she howls in laughter. "Oh, you poor, sweet, love deprived woman."

I groan and hold my head in my hands.

"But in all seriousness," Courtney says, adopting her therapist voice. "How have the panic attacks been?"

"I had one this morning in the shower. I stumbled naked to my bedroom, where the boys found me. Could not have been more embarrassing."

She bites her lip, biting back what she I know she wants to say and struggles to stay in therapist-mode.

"How has having bodyguards changed how you feel?" Nice, open-ended question, but I know what conclusions she wants me to draw. One down-side to being best friends with your therapist.

"I'll focus on how them being here makes me safer. They're changing out the locks and security system to be stronger, and they're doing 8-hour shifts so someone will always be on duty."

She nods. "That's good. Focus on that instead of how insanely hot they are."

"Courtney!"

She laughs. "Sorry." Not in the least bit actually sorry.

We spend the next hour walking through somatic breath work and scenarios where I talk to myself as if I was talking to my best friend. One of the challenges growing up in a household where no one loves you is not knowing what that looks like, so you can mimic it to love yourself. Not loving yourself means you don'tcare about putting in the work to be happy and whole. Which, again, was why I was Courtney's favorite pet project.

As we wrap up, though, friend-Courtney comes back.

"Just enjoy your new Magic Mike show, girl. It's been so long, and you deserve a little distraction. But send me pictures if they're by the pool." I shake my head at her and laugh. Shameless.

Chapter nine

Liam