Page 50 of Triple Protection
My entire body erupts in shivers and I almost collapse. A pair of strong arms holds me close, before the owner begins barking orders. I'm already sobbing, shaking, gasping for air. Liam runsto take the security system offline, while Brick runs outside, to chase down the deliverer I suppose. Alex's strong arms hold me upright as he lets me cry into his bare shoulder. He runs a reassuring hand up and down my back.
"It's okay. It's alright, Princess. I've got you." He whispers into my hair. This time, Princess sounds more like a prayer than an insult. As if I really am someone precious, worth protecting. It makes me sob harder. The best day of my life, tarnished by this. This creep had watched us fuck like rabbits, and make love like soulmates. God, what if he's angry with me now? Something Liam said in the early days replayed in my mind.The only time I would really worry is if he can't have you, he may become violent in an effort to not let anyone else have you.
Oh, God! What if this was it? He's become violent now? After seeing me be intimate with the boys. My heart's beating so hard it begins skipping beats. A painful clenched skip before speeding up to catch up. I can't breathe. I can't get enough air.
"Deep breaths, sweetheart. Breathe with me. Look at me." I focus on his voice and try to pull myself back to my body. I stare into Alex's dark brown eyes. They're wrinkled with concern. "That's it." Using his bedroom Dom voice, with just a touch of softness, my body willingly complies. He holds me upright, eyes locked on mine, as he takes an exaggerated breath it. I try to follow his motions, but for every one of this breaths I take three or four. I try to follow him as he breathes out too, but every breath out is a stutter, my lungs, my body, unable to obey.
"Breathe in with me, two, three, four. That's it. Good girl." He offers me a wary smile. "Now out, two, three, four. Good. Now hold it for two, three, four." Box breathing. He's walking me through box breathing. It's something Courtney had taught me to keep in my toolbox for panic attacks. I just never seemed to be able to use it. By the time I was in a panic attack it was too late, but Alex, using his bedroom Dom voice and my desire for praise,is walking me through box breathing. And it’s working. A small smile spreads across my face and I shake my head. Not sure how to explain this one to my Courtney.
"Box breathing," I whisper, suddenly drained. "How did you know?" He pulls me to his chest, cradling my head against his pec with a softness I hadn’t come to expect from him.
"After your first panic attack I did some research." He says simply. "Let's lay you down and elevate your feet." He says, gently moving me to the couch.
I smile, my eyes closed. "More panic attack research?"
He shakes his head. I can feel it more than see it. "No, just something my mother would do after a hard day." I hum in acknowledgement before letting him lay me down and elevate my feet on the armrest of the couch. He disappears for a few moments while I focus on breathing deeply. He returns with a cold, wet wash cloth he places on my forehead and sits a cup of tea on the coffee table next to me.
I peer at him with one eye and shoot him a weary grin. "Be careful, Alex, spoil me too much and I'll get used to it."
"Don't worry, I'll make up for it tonight." He growls, a predatory grin on his face that makes my heart race.
Liam and Brick return. Alex stands to leave, but I grab his hand and lace his fingers between mine. Our relationship has been the slowest to grow, the trust and respect slowly earned, but he's my man now, and I need him.
"I've taken down the security system. I'll spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how he had access to it. Mother fucker must be smarter than we gave him credit for." Liam growls, his usually carefree face dark and sinister.
"I tracked down the kid who delivered it. Said someone dropped it off at the guard's hut and asked him to deliver it. He didn't get a name or a car, but I'm having them run the surveillance tapes to see if we can get a face or a license plate."
Alex nods, his eyes never leaving mine.
"'You were supposed to wait for me'," Alex mumbles, causing my chest to clench and a shiver to roll through me. "It's a threat. It's implying she'll be punished for not waiting for him. The picture and comments and gifts before were to get her attention, but this is a threat. None of us leave her side. Not from now on. I don't care if we have to shit, shower, and shave together," I wrinkle my nose at the idea, "none of us are leaving her again."
The rest of the day is passed in tense silence. Liam's hard at work on his computer, doing whatever he can to reverse engineer how the stalker, my stalker, got access to the security system. The kid from earlier drops off surveillance tapes of the community gates, which Alex and Brick are going over on the TV, while I curl up on the couch reading my latest trashy novel. Alex cooks for us and dinner is passed in nervous conversation.
That night, when we all retire to bed, none of us are in the mood. We know the security camera was offline, but the sanctity of my bedroom, the security of our relationships has been ruined. We share small, comforting kisses with each other. I curl up against Brick's chest as we read on our individual ereaders, while Alex and Liam scroll silently on their phones.
I want to make it right. I want to tell him how much I still trust them, how I still feel safe with them. I want to reassure them we're all going to be alright. But I don't have the words. I trust them, but I have no idea what this mad man is capable of and that scares me. I feel safe with them, but not in this house. I want to reassure them that we're all going to be alright but I'm not really sure if we are. And I don't have it in me to lie.
Chapter thirty-six
Angela
Angela
Christmas dinner with the Admiral is always a shitshow. I wake that morning, blissfully happy, surrounded by my three men, Brick already awake, of course, reading. We share a small, private smile before I untangle myself from under Liam's starfish leg and Alex's heavy arm.
"Merry Christmas," I whisper to him before giving him a quick peck on the lips. We have discovered he is okay with that brand of touching, since he wasn't kissing anyone at the hospital, it doesn't raise his anxiety.
The boys and I exchange small, silly little gifts. Liam and Brick face-time with their sisters, while Alex makes enough breakfast to feed an Army. After I check messages and post a silly little picture of my Christmas tree, my anxiety kicks in.
I dread dinners with the family. Luckily, with my brother and sister's successful careers, family dinner has dwindled down to once a year - Christmas.
I spend an hour getting ready because, naturally, Christmas dinner is a formal affair. God forbid we act like normal families and sip hot cocoa wearing fuzzy slippers. Christmas dinners at the Bazzaratti estate are black tie and catered with a serving staff. While I get ready, though, I text Courtney, who walks me through my affirmations and relaxation techniques. She joined me one year in college and understands what today is going to be like for me.
Liam only takes 15 minutes to get dressed in a black, tailored suit with his shoulder holster underneath but damn does he look delicious in it.
We roll up to the mansion in Alex's blacked out SUV. Alex and Brick will wait in the car while Liam and I do dinner. I fidget in the back seat, playing with the hem of my dress for the hundredth time.
Liam sees my hands before throwing his arm across the back of the seat and pulling me into his side. He laces his large fingers with mine and kisses me on the top of my head.