Page 75 of Triple Protection

I'm sitting in my car, in the dark of the parking garage of the hospital, wondering what the fuck I'm supposed to do.

I rest my forehead against the steering wheel, and rub my temples, pressing into the soft flesh, hoping to ease the tension headache that's threatening to become a migraine. I almost lost my best friend, my chosen brother today, because of our line of work. The profession Brick and Liam followed me into. I never would have forgiven myself if Liam had died. Sitting in Brick's father's house after he was discharged, the boys and I talked about what we would do next; how we could use our skills outside of the Marine Corps. I suggested private security. Rich pricks would pay a lot more than the Marine Corps for our services.

But was it worth it? Was our hefty salaries worth Liam or Brick's life? Fuck no. That was the first fucking mistake I'd made on this entire fucked up journey.

Honestly, my entire life story is just a series of fuck ups. I fucked up with my High School sweetheart. I fucked up with my fiancé. I fucked up, convincing the boys to join Cerberus. And I fucked up with Angela. I wallow in the darkness and regret I'm feeling for every fucking thing I've done wrong my entire life.

We fell in love with a client. Would Liam have been more on guard if he hadn't been drooling after her? Would Marshal have gotten the jump on him if he'd been more professional?

Fuck, I couldn't blame Liam. No one suspected Marshal, and Angela trusted him. Plus, he used her as a shield. None of us would have taken the shot, regardless of our feelings about her.

Self-loathing is a heady cocktail that I'm fully embracing right now. Liam survived. Angela's safe. Her stalker is gone. But where does that leave me? Angela deserves so much more than a fuck-up like me. Shit, and the way I treated her in the beginning?

I groan aloud. I was such an asshole to her, and she still forgave me, took me to her bed, loved me. My heart clenches painfully when I think about her in the kitchen with me, long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail or a messy bun. The smiles she reserves just for me. The teasing, the flirting, the sass. I love her brattiness. But what the fuck do I bring to the table? Sour looks? A bad attitude? Fuck-up after fuck-up?

Nah, she's better off without me. They all are. I'll go home and pack a bag while they're all still here.Shit, when did I start calling her home my home?I'll take off somewhere new. Somewhere they can't find me, so they can start their lives together. They'll all be happier and safer without me.

Tap, tap, tap.

I look up suddenly to see a dark-haired woman peering at me through my passenger side window.

"Mom?"

She moves her fist in a circular motion, and I roll my eyes. They invented automatic windows decades ago, and she still acts like she has to roll it down.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"Apparently, busting your balls."

"What?!" I ask incredulously.

"Your girlfriend called me to bust your balls since the doctors won't discharge her yet." She replies in her sarcastic tone.

"Angela called you?"

"Yes. Said something about you being stupid and self-loathing, and that I was to bring you upstairs to her so she could bust your balls herself."

"Her words?" I ask ruefully.

"Maybe not, but she meant the same."

"She doesn't want to see me, Ma."

She shakes her head impatiently. "Definitely being stupid." She grumbles under her breath. "Get your ass upstairs and let her tell you that herself."

I sit a moment longer, considering. I don't want to go upstairs, but maybe that's me being a coward. Maybe facing consequences is the brave choice. Angela deserves to rip me a new one. So does Liam. Maybe it's better if they get it off their chests before I leave. Maybe saying goodbye to their face, although painful, is the right thing to do.

I sigh before rolling up the window and following my mother.

"Fucking ball buster," I grumble under my breath as I follow her towards the elevators.

"I heard that." She shouts.

I follow her silently through the elevator and down the hall and into room 304. Angela is cuddled up against Liam's good side in the hospital bed, both of them a mess of wires, gauze and hospital gowns. Fuck, I was hoping to do this separately. Brickis there, although he looks nervous. Fuck, he hates hospitals. I hadn't noticed that before when we brought Liam in, because he was worried about me.

"You alright, Big Guy?" I ask him.

"Yeah, just… hoping we can get out of here soon."