Page 57 of Royal Guard

“No,” I said. “That’s not what my father would have done. He wouldn’t have sat here, safe in the palace, and told people to be brave while there were bombs going off. And if thisdoesturn into war, I’m going to have to ask mothers to send their sons and daughters into combat. I can’t ask them to do that if I’m cowering in here myself.” I thought for a second. “What’s happening with my coronation?”

Aleksander looked shocked. “With the threat to your life, I was thinking we’d just do a small, private ceremony—”

“No. Do what we’d normally do. The whole thing. A parade. Show the people that these bastards don’t scare us.”

There was shocked silence. Then, “Of course, Your Majesty. We’ll make plans right away.”

I met Garrett’s eyes across the room. He looked furious that I was putting myself in danger... but he slowly nodded. He understood why I was doing it and he’d protect me.

Just gazing into those clear blue eyes made my heart feel like it was being slowly torn in two. I needed him to protect me, but I needed so much more than that. I needed to feel his arms around me again. I needed to wake up to the warmth of his chest against my back. I neededhim.And I knew, looking into his eyes, that he needed me, too.

Those feelings weren’t going away. We were just keeping them buried.

And I wasn’t sure how long we could.

40

KRISTINA

Two days later,the lights went out.

I’d known it was going to happen at some point. There’d been another bombing: like the others, it hadn’t killed anyone but it had been carefully calculated to spread panic and disruption by taking out the high-voltage lines that led from one of our power stations. Half the city was without power, including the main hospital. I’d ordered that the palace’s supply be diverted: the patients were more important than we were. But it was still a shock when the room suddenly went dark, enough to make me cry out.

Garrett burst in, then slid to a stop when he saw I was okay. By then, though, he was almost touching me. I felt the tiny hairs on the back of my arms stand to attention and I caught my breath. God, Iachedfor him.

With shaking hands, I lit a candle. The flickering light threw his shadow onto the wall, making his hugeform seem even bigger. We stood there gazing at each other. He lookedamazingin the guard’s uniform, even better than he had in his plaid shirts and jeans. Something about all that expensive dark blue and gold stretched over his tan skin. Formal on the surface, rough underneath. He looked...rightin a uniform.

His wounds were healing up well and he was adjusting to palace life. I’d heard him taking lessons from Emerik on etiquette: he was learning all the proper terms of address, when and who to bow to, even some of our traditions. He was completely out of his element: he’d been thrown into this just as I’d been thrown into ruling, but he was determined to be the best royal guard he could. I loved that about him.

“If everything’s alright, Your Majesty,” he said in that honeyed rumble, “I should be outside.”

Technically, he wasn’t supposed to be in my chambers unless there was an emergency. And I knew we should stick to that, to avoid temptation. Just walking around the palace with him was hard enough. Every brush of his hip on mine, every touch of his hand as he steadied me when I tripped... we’d look at each other and I’d feel it flooding through me: we were ahair’s breadthfrom diving at each other and we both knew it. Being alone like this was foolish. Downright dangerous.

But….

But I’d been in meetings with General Novak all day, my stomach twisting as he talked about casualty projections measured in the millions. Now it was dark and in another few hours I’d have to go to bed. And then the nightmare would come. I’d be back in that stone cell, all on my own, the water rising. I’d wake up, soaked with sweat, stifling a scream, and have todig my fingernails into my hand and bite my lip to resist calling Garrett, knowing that all it would take to banish the nightmare forever would be to give in and be with him again. I couldn’t. I knew that. Seeing Lakovia and my mother again, taking the throne... it had reminded me of my responsibilities.Princesses don’t get to choose who they love.

I missed America, too. I missed the scenery and the horses and especially the food. The day before, I’d asked the palace chef to make ribs for dinner and looked forwardto them all day. But when they’d arrived, it was a plate of four tiny bones, artfully arranged in a square, with a small pot of barbecue sauce on the side for dipping. With silver cutlery, so that I didn’t dirty my hands. I’d thanked him politely but it wasn’t the same.

Mainly, though, I missed him. I needed him there.Just for a little while. Even with the candle, my bedroom was too dark, too like the cell. If I had to be there on my own, I’d go insane. And I couldn’t ask Caroline: she was still broken-hearted over Sebastian. We’d barely talked, since we got back to Lakovia.Does she blame me for what happened?

Something glinted in the candlelight and I saw the excuse I needed. I set the candle down on the table next to the chessboard. “Do you play?” I asked.

He ran one big hand through his hair, embarrassed. “Ah... I’ve played a little. Felton, in my squad in Iraq, he had it on his phone. He taught me how, but I ain’t much for strategy.” He looked closer. “Are theysolid silver?”

I nodded. “The pieces and the board. From our silver mines. I always thought it was a bit over the top. But I keep it set up because my father likes to playwith me.” I caught myself and bit my lip. “I mean... he did.”

He gazed at me across the board... and slowly nodded. He pulled out a stool and sat, and we began.

“Any word on your father?” I asked after a few moves.

He shook his head. “Still critical. No better, no worse.”

God, if he dies….I bit my lip. “Garrett, he needs you—”

“You need me more.” Our eyes met and a big, hot bomb went off in my chest. There was no argument to be had, here. Hewouldprotect me, no matter what the personal cost.I can’t be worth all that,I thought helplessly. But God, he made me feel safe like no one else.

“Heard you’ve been getting up early,” I said, dropping my eyes to the board. “Caroline keeps seeing you walking the halls, before anyone else is about.”