Page 133 of Icebound Hearts

“Come on, it’ll be good for us. Besides, you need to practice.”

Jake sighs and melts off the couch, leaving Chewy behind. I lead him outside to the small garage attached to the house where we keep his bike, helmet, and safety pads, and he stands there lifelessly like a little rag doll as I get him all geared up. “So, do you want to tell me about what happened with the welcome home banner?”

Jake shrugs again. “It was just old.”

“You sure that’s all?”

His eyes drift to mine and they start to water. “I didn’t want to see it anymore,” he admits, his voice barely more than a whisper.

With my heart breaking, I kiss the top of his head before I put his helmet on and clip it in place.

“That’s okay. I understand. Sometimes it can be hard to see reminders of people and things we miss.”

“Do you miss her too?”

I smile as much as I can without breaking. “Of course I do. Now come on, let’s hit the road.”

If we keep talking about this, I’m going to melt down too, and I can’t let that happen for his sake. There’s nothing wrong with showing my feelings in front of him, but somehow, I don’t think seeing his dad sobbing is going to do anything to boost his mood.

Jake goes over to the garage wall to grab his bike and wheels it out with me right behind him. I close the door with the keypad and standby while Jake climbs onto the bike. We took his training wheels off right before Violet got here, but he hasn’t really ridden since then so I’m a little worried about him keeping his balance. But that’s another reason I wanted to get him out riding today.

He sits on the bike seat with one leg holding him up. It’s almost as big as he is, but I know he can handle it. “Ready to go?”

“I guess,” he mumbles and kicks off, pedaling and wobbling, but managing to stay upright. I do my best to keep pace with him in case he tips over and so he doesn’t get too far away from me. There isn’t much traffic through our neighborhood, but there’s enough and he’s small enough that I’m worried a driver who isn’t paying attention would miss him. They won’t have that problem with me.

“There you go, you’re doing well!” I tell him, holding one hand out tentatively to catch him if he tips my way.

I honestly expected him to have a harder time after not practicing for so long, but I guess it really is true what they say about never forgetting how to ride a bike.

We make our way down the street without any problems, and as Jake gets more comfortable and steadier, I start hanging back to let him get a little farther away from me. He probably doesn’t want me hovering over him right now, and I don’t really know what to say or do for him anyway, so maybe just spending this time together is enough. I hope it is.

But as we reach a turn in the road and the street starts to slant downward into the bend, Jake picks up speed.

“Slow down, buddy! Remember, push the pedals backward,” I call after him, but his feet fly off the pedals instead and the bike starts abruptly jerking from left to right as his speed gets away from him.

I jump into a run to get to him, but I’m not fast enough to stop him from crashing right into the curb. He lets out a little yelp as he soars off the bike and lands on one arm in the grass while the bike flips over itself and lands next to him. He’s sitting up as I reach him, clutching his arm, and when he looks down and sees an angry slash of red there, he throws his head back and starts to cry.

I fall to my knees beside him, taking his arm in my hands to look it over. It’s not broken, thank fuck, just a scrape. But the scrape is pretty nasty. I’m betting the fall scared him more than anything.

“It’s okay, buddy. You’re alright. It was just a little spill,” I tell him as calmly as I can, but he just cries louder, growing totally inconsolable. I scoop him up into my arms, but he kicks and squirms.

“Mommy! I want Mommy!” he screams.

I frown as I stroke his hair gently, confused. It’s been years since he’s asked for Miriam. Why would he be doing it now?

“I wantViolet!” he wails. “Mommy!”

Oh. The hand I have resting on his hair freezes, and I stare down at the sidewalk with a lump in my throat as the meaning of his words washes over me. My heart thuds against my ribs, a wild, discordant beat that’s almost painful.Fucking hell.

“Violet!” he pleads again, then presses his face into the space between my neck and shoulder, soaking it with his tears. “I want Violet!”

Something cracks open in my chest, and I squeeze Jake tight against me as I sink back to my knees in the grass.

“I know, buddy,” I whisper hoarsely. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

Chapter 45

Violet