Page 135 of Icebound Hearts

Defeated, I sink down into one of the stools at the built-in bar in the kitchen with my phone in one hand. My thumb hovers over my photos app, but I resist the urge to open it. Taking a trip down memory lane right now probably isn’t going to lead to anything good, but I can’t resist. The first thing I see is Jake’s smiling face smeared with chocolate ice cream, and my chest clenches immediately. There must be at least a few hundred pictures I took of him over the few months I was his nanny, and I realize as I scroll through them all that there are probably more pictures of him on here than there are of me.

My thumb gives the screen a lazy flick, but my attention drifts off to the sliding glass door and the ocean beyond it while memories reel through my mind like a movie. And when I glance back at my phone, my chest tightens further at what’s waiting for me. It’s a picture of Sawyer and me, one of the few we took together because we were trying to be discreet. We’re sitting on his couch together, having one of our midnight snack conversations. I’m holding up a spoonful of something, my mouth full, and Sawyer’s smirking in the background doing the same thing.

What I wouldn’t give to have him here for that right now.

My eyes flick to the couch in the living room, expecting to find him there, but of course it’s empty. Driven by themselves, my fingers navigate over to my text thread with him. I know I shouldn’t be doing it, but I’ve been re-reading our messages every night before bed since I left Denver. It’s silly, but it helps me feel like he’s still here with me, like the whole thing wasn’t just some dream. And the last thing I said to him proves it wasn’t.

ME: Just made it to my new place. Everything went smoothly. Thank you again for the help—all of it.

He reacted to the message with a heart and left it at that. Neither of us has texted the other since then, and as much as Iwish we could, I know why we haven’t. It would only make this separation harder and torment both of us with what we can’t have, so what’s the point? Better to just let things be and move on.

But not tonight. I’m feeling too sad, missing him way too much, to stop myself. My fingers fly across the keyboard to type out a message, but every time I finish it, I delete it in a hurry and mentally berate myself for even thinking about doing it. Still, it only takes a few seconds for my fingers to start typing again.

ME: I miss you. Is it supposed to be this hard?

I tap send before I can talk myself out of it, and my heart hammers in my chest as I stare at the screen wondering what the hell I just did. Almost immediately, the message switches over to “read,” and my stomach flutters wildly. But the indicator that he’s typing a response never shows up, and my heart sinks.

Maybe I shouldn’t have sent it. He probably just wants a clean break, because he knows how hard it would be to keep talking. I stare down at my phone, trying to decide what to do. I wish I could unsend the message, but that’s not an option. Should I say something else? Should I just let it go?

I almost jump out of my skin when I hear a knock on my door.

My brows draw together. I’m not expecting company, since no one besides the people at the office know me here, but I get up quickly to see who it is anyway, in case it’s a package getting delivered or something.

I pad to the door and swing it open—and then nearly drop my phone as shock ricochets through me.

“Sawyer?” I whisper, butterflies exploding in my belly.

“I miss you too,” he murmurs, his voice a low rasp.

Then he steps forward and kisses me.

Chapter 46

Sawyer

Violet kisses me back like she’s been starving for it, like I’m her oasis in the desert. I step farther into the apartment, kicking the door closed with my foot and then spinning her to press her against it. I kiss her until we’re both breathless, and when we finally pause for a moment, we stand breathing heavily and staring at each other. Violet’s eyes are wide and full of surprise.

“You’re here,” she whispers, then laughs in disbelief.

I can’t find words, so I nod at her with my chest aching—but in a good way for the first time since she left. I kiss her again, unable to stop myself. I can’t stop kissing her, can’t keep my hands off her. Even though she’s right here in front of me, her body pressing into mine, I’m afraid that if I let her go she’ll disappear again.

Violet takes the lead, kissing me again hungrily and pulling at my clothes as if something soul-deep is driving her. Feeling her respond like this makes something primal in my brain take over, and I pull her shirt up over her head and toss it aside. She slips out of her bra quickly and lets it fall to the floor, exposing her perfect breasts.

My hands move to them automatically, gently squeezing them and stroking her nipples, and Violet moans as she meltsback against the door. I can’t stop myself from devouring her. My mouth starts at the base of her neck and works its way down to her breasts, kissing and licking every inch of them like a man possessed.

“I missed you so much. God, I fuckingneedyou,” I mumble against her scar, and she threads her fingers in my hair, urging me on. I sink to my knees and pull her pants off, hooking one of her legs over my shoulder, my face hovering near her pussy.

Goosebumps race over her skin in response, and I can’t hold back.

I press my mouth against her and hum roughly when her fingers dig into my scalp. It’s all so perfect, so familiar. Her taste, her smell, everything is exactly the way I remembered—but somehow seems ten times better. She was only a few states away, but I would’ve crossed the world to get back to her, to experience her like this all over again.

And I want her to feel that. I want her to know it.

I push my tongue into her, and when I start to work her clit at the same time with my fingers, she inhales sharply, her inner walls tightening around my tongue. I fuck her with it, pushing it in as deeply as I can as her soft whimpers fill the air.

“Please come on my face,” I mutter against her pussy, my words muffled. “I need to taste it, all of it. Right now.”

“Fuck, Sawyer.” Her legs shake, and I know she’s close. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop, please, oh god…”