Page 23 of Icebound Hearts
“Sure, if they want to. But if they say no, come back to us, okay?”
“Okay,” Jake says and swims off in a hurry, leaving Sawyer and me alone. We float idly for several moments, neither of us looking at the other, until Sawyer finally breaks the silence.
“Thanks for playing with Jake like that.”
“Yeah, of course. He’s a great kid, who wouldn’t want to? Besides, I’m pretty sure ‘playing in the pool’ was somewhere in my job description,” I reply, and Sawyer laughs.
“What a job, huh?”
“Honestly, I love it so far. A lot more than I thought I would. Please don’t take that the wrong way,” I quickly add.
“Not at all, I get it. Taking care of a kid, especially a little boy with as much energy as he has, can be a lot.”
“Were you that energetic when you were his age?” I ask as I start idly twisting my hair into a messy bun. It’s getting annoying now that it’s wet, sticking to my shoulders and neck.
Sawyer smirks as he watches me. “Why do you think my mom got me into hockey?”
That makes me laugh. “Ah, I see. Makes sense. Have you or your ex ever thought about getting Jake into something like that?”
The easy grin slips from his face, and he shakes his head. “Miriam never thought about much when it came to Jake.”
I’d kind of gotten that sense already from what he’s told me about her, and it’s probably not my place to pry, but he seems like he wants to talk about it more, so I decide to try.
“Sounds like she wasn’t really interested in being a mom.”
“Not at all. She isn’t a bad person at heart, but she isn’t the most… maternal. She didn’t really show a lot of interest in Jake at all after he was born.”
I frown, my heart sinking for Jake. “That’s awful. Did Jake ever notice or say anything about it?”
Sawyer leans back a little in the water, wetting his dark hair. “He’s never said anything, but I can tell he sensed it sometimes. The poor kid. It was like no matter how hard she pulled away, he would just try harder to get her to notice him. It never worked, and it was heartbreaking to watch.”
He stares off at Jake, who’s playing with the other kids as if they’ve known each other their whole lives even though they just met. Although Sawyer smiles, he seems bittersweet. Hearing about the way Jake’s mom treated him makes my heart twinge. He’s such a sweet kid, so I don’t understand how anyone could do that to him, but I also don’t know what Sawyer’s ex had going on so it’s not my place to judge.
“Jake deserves so much love,” I say, and Sawyer shoots me a grateful look, nodding.
“I sure think so.”
We settle into a peaceful silence, broken only by the sounds of splashing and shouting from the kids as they play nearby. Sawyer’s gaze trails over my face and then drifts downward for a moment, and my stomach flutters—until I remember that the suit I’m wearing shows off the mark on my chest in stark relief. I stiffen a little, and I can tell the exact moment when he notices it, because his brows draw together.
He hesitates, but I can practically hear the question burning on the tip of his tongue.
“It’s… a scar,” I say awkwardly. “I’ve had it for a long time.”
“Oh.” His gaze flashes up to meet mine. “I didn’t notice it before when, uh, you know…”
He trails off, and I huff a laugh, even though goosebumps break out over my skin at the memory of him walking in on me stark naked and doing my best Kelly Clarkson impersonation.
I don’t normally talk about my scar or what caused it, and I know I could probably brush it off and Sawyer wouldn’t push for more details. He doesn’t strike me as the type of person to pry. But for some reason, I find myself opening my mouth and speaking again. Maybe it’s because he’s been so open with me about his struggles with his ex, but I feel like I can trust him.
“I had heart surgery when I was younger,” I admit quietly.
Sawyer’s brows shoot up his forehead. “What, really? Wow, that’s intense.”
“Yeah. I had a somewhat serious heart defect that required major surgery when I was in my early teens. It pretty much upended my teenage experience.”
“Damn,” he murmurs in a low voice. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks.” I finally give up on trying to put my hair into a bun. I’ve never been very good at it, and it’s even harder when it’s wet. “Everything is fine now, although it was terrifying at the time.”