Page 36 of Citrine

So why do it? I have protected her all this time. Why does she want to harm herself?

She pulls against the tie again, screaming out in pain. Her face contorts, bodily fluids leaking from her eyes, which roll in their sockets, brimming at the edge with more fluid. My desire to go to her fights harder against my restraint, but I prevail once more.

Just barely. I shouldn't care. I don't care.

She mutters something under her breath again, moving her body upright as she slowly moves one end of the vine to her mouth. It is strange to watch, like time is moving slower than it should be. She rests her back against the giant tree, her eyes barely open asshe pants. My grasper clenches unconsciously, even though she isn't doing anything.

Her voice gets louder as she speaks to herself in the same strange language, pulling the vine with her teeth, holding it taut like she's giving herself strength, then moves back to where she was.

I recognize it almost too late. She's about to do it again.

She pulls again and screams, her voice becoming raw. Her groans rile up something in me, a burning urge I can't ignore, and no longer care that I don't understand. My instincts crash against my restraint like an overflowing river, and my body moves, ignoring the protests of my mind.

Nothing is allowed to hurt her. Ever. Not even herself.

With that in mind, I lunge out of the cave, fully set on stopping her before she hurts herself even further. Every rational thought in my head screams at me to stop, to consider my dignity. Time slows again as I'm rushing toward her.

And then even my mind stops holding me back. I have decided to protect her, and I will be as effective and ruthless at it as I am in my hunting.

Not even she will stop me.

Her face looks pale, like all the blood has been drained from it as I get close to her.

I like my prey intact and healthy, for a good chase. I cannot chase her with a faulty limb, neither can I fully gorge myself on a proper meal.

Yes, that feels right. This is what I will keep telling myself. That she's a meal worth saving.

From the moment I move onto the dry, scratchy weeds, the burning behind my throat reminds me I shouldn't stay for too long, shouldn't linger. However, the rest of my body is intent on writhing to her.

I'm caught between a cliff and a deep plunge, and I already chose to jump. There's no stopping it now. I know I'm choosing to interact with this female.

Whatever happens next, I am sure it is a decision I will regret.

18

Eli

Gathering the twigs, vines, and sticks I needed was the easy part. My heart fills with dread at the thought of readjusting my arm by myself. I sigh, looking at the crooked arm through blurry eyes, wondering exactly how I got here. I have never had the opportunity to reset a bone, neither did I think I would have to.

The most exciting thing that happened in the grocery store I worked in was somebody getting buried in cartons of chips after knocking over the supply boxes. Then, I was glad it wasn't me that made such a huge mistake. Or that time I spilled cleaning fluid on a carpet in my night job.

Not exactly worth this sort of karma. Oh, wait. I guess I did fucking shoot somebody, even if he deserved it.

The thrill of standing up for myself weaves together with sayingfuckand it makes me feel… powerful.

Huh.

I know I'm spiraling to distract myself from the pain, but I let myself keep at it. It's excruciating and my heart is pounding in my ears to let me know just how close I am to passing out.

Every move feels like I'm being stabbed with a thousand needles. Falling from a bike or getting hit by my stepfather just doesn't compare to this kind of pain. What he broke there were at least doctors to fix when I 'fell down the stairs.'

My body screams at me to give up, but I know I haven't gotten the bone in place, so I'll have to keep pulling until I do. Just the thought of it is enough to send shivers down my spine.

The wind blowing through the trees doesn't help to regulate my body's temperature but the feeling of being watched still lingers, leaving my nerves frigid.

Thanks to my blurred vision, it's going to take a lot more than blind faith and instincts to help me set my bone back. I seriously need help. If I keep pulling, the sheer pain is going to knock me out.

My efforts are still not enough.