Page 68 of Hometown Cowboy
He rememberedher.
That was all he cared about, all he wanted. His memories of her, of them together. Of the closeness they’d shared.
He nuzzled Darby’s neck, his lips grazing her soft, dewy skin. Her scent enveloped him, drew him in like a siren song. How could he have ever imagined a future without her, when he could feel like this by just breathing her in?
He was a realistic and practical guy. He figured that a lot of these feelings would erupt, then fade back into their proper spots and perspectives once the whole thing died down and his memories settled into place. But the one thing that wouldn’t change was how much he loved her. He knew that was what he’d been feeling all along, he just hadn’t recognised it.
He kissed her neck where his lips were, not wanting to lift his head. He didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay here, still inside her, feeling her luscious, sex-dampened body on him, around him. He gripped her rear tighter and shifted slightly, settling her more comfortably on his lap. Her soft gasp at the movement stirred something deep inside him. A primal instinct that demanded that she should only be like this for him. Wantinghim.
She wasn’t making a move, either. A small smile tilted his lips. He sighed into her skin at the feel of her fingers threading through his hair at his nape. The insistent sound of thunder intruded on his passion-drenched brain.
Oh, right. The storm.
He felt her sigh, then her body tensed a little as the euphoria from their intense coupling faded. He braced himself for an explosion and lifted his head to look at her.
It was the wrong thing to do, to look at her satiated face while he was still firmly inside her. Even though she was fast becoming aware, the sex-haze in her eyes and her parted full lips sent a shudder through him from head to toe. He was going to have to get her off him, or he’d end up doing it again.
His gaze locked on her lower lip as it disappeared between her teeth, and he remembered with a start that she only did that when something was bothering her, or when she was nervous.
Nervousness didn’t appear to be the problem, so the only other thing was bothered. He supposed he could see why she’d be concerned, sitting on her entry floor with him soaking wet and working her over.
She cleared her throat. “Well. That was unexpected.”
Her wry tone had humour winding through him. He tried to suppress a grin. This probably wasn’t the time to get mouthy with her.
“You could say that. I’m really sorry, Darby. Not that it happened, but that I mauled you like that. I didn’t come here intending…” He trailed off, not knowing quite what to say.
“I kind of gathered that.” She stroked his cheek. “What happened?”
He stared at her face, taking her in, filing her features away, searing them to his memory.
“I’m not really sure. Bits and pieces slipped in, little things that I’d think of. Sometimes they’d slip away again, other times they’d stick. I didn’t want to say anything to anyone in case I was getting ahead of myself. The storm tonight? I was lying in bed listening to it and thinking about how you were so scared of thunder. Then I remembered the storm at Gabe’s place. How I kissed you.”
He sucked in a deep breath. Time to face this connection with her head-on. Time to ask for what he really wanted.
“I love you, Darby. I’ve loved you for a really long time; I just didn’t know it. The thought of being without you, of not having you beside me… I can’t breathe. It scares me. When I close my eyes, all I see is you.”
Tears glinted in her eyes when he looked at her. Her bottom lip wobbled and she bit it. A smile chased over her beautiful mouth.
“I love you too, Ryan.” She touched his chest almost tentatively. “When you wanted me to stay after Gabe and Emma’s wedding, I couldn’t quite believe it. I’d wanted that for such a long time that it didn’t seem real, you know?”
He lifted her chin with a finger, forcing her to keep eye contact. “You do realise why I never chased you, right?”
Confusion ran over her face. She shook her head. “What do you mean? I just thought you weren’t attracted to me.”
His laughter was loud enough to momentarily drown out the thunder. “You can’t be serious? I’vealwaysbeen attracted to you.” The grin fled his face and he sighed. “Gabe and I came to an agreement a long time ago. I’d stay away from you, and he wouldn’t pound my face into oblivion. I was able to honour that promise and pretend I didn’t care, push away any attraction—until recently.”
A weary acceptance lit her eyes. “I’d wondered… When?”
Ryan rubbed her thighs. “The summer we were twenty. He saw I was more than interested, and he made it very clear it wasn’t acceptable.” He shrugged. “I was young and stupid. I chased anything in a skirt, you know that.” He held her gaze. “But how I felt about you never changed. I thought it was love for a friend. I didn’t realise… Then Britney happened, and Luce died…”
He held up his hands. “I know it’s no excuse, but after that I just couldn’t face the thought of someone having that much control over my happiness. People always left.”
Darby threw her arms around his shoulders and held tight. Ryan fought to control himself, when all he wanted was to bury his face in her hair and simply breathe her in.
“I’m not going anywhere, Ryan. We might not always agree, we might fight like crazy, I don’t know. But I promise to be here for you. You’re part of our family, you always have been. I love you, but more than that, you’re my friend.”
He let go and buried his face into her shoulder. It felt so good justbeingthere with her.