Page 21 of Dr. Scandal Claus

"You are incredible," I told her, and she smiled softly. Her early dark emotions and apprehension were gone now, soothed away by the kiss of intimacy.

"Happy Birthday to me!" she mewled and I chuckled.

"I'm so ready to have a life with you, Scarlett…Have you ever thought about having more children? Because I want to have a huge family." I was smiling, but the wash of dread or fear, or maybe anger, coated her irises, pulling her away from me again.

"I, uh…" She sat up and cleared her throat. "I'm not feeling very well," she blurted out and before I could protest, she was off the bed headed toward my bathroom.

I sat up and looked down at the puddle on the bed from our sex, then up at the closed bathroom door where she had just vanished. My heart sank at her response. I knew we'd had a bit of a dicey conversation at the end of dinner all the way until we gothere, but before that we'd been connecting. I thought we were on the same page, but maybe I was moving too fast. Whatever it was, Scarlett either didn't want to have more children, or she was having second thoughts about dating me at all.

Now I feared I had pushed her over the edge entirely. Why did I have to open my dumb mouth?

15

SCARLETT

Ipoured the batter into the prepared cake pans but the chill in the kitchen despite the ovens' heat made me tense. Nellie hadn't been herself in a week. She never did apologize for completely bailing on me on Ethan's last snow day, and while I never addressed it either, I expected something more from her.

When my cake pans were in the oven, I started cleaning up the prep table to move on to my next task, and I found myself across from Nellie. Her head was down and she was focused on cutting donuts. I had to break the tension between us or it would just continue. I knew I had upset her, but I did think she was taking it a little far.

"Hey, can we talk?" I leaned on the prep table and watched as her movements slowed and she sighed.

"Sure," Nellie sighed, and she dusted the flour from her hands, careful not to touch anything but the prep surface.

"I can tell you're upset, and I just wanted a chance to explain some things." I felt a bit anxious about talking to Nellie about my private life. We chatted now and then about certain personal things, but it wasn't like we were super close. I didn't purposefully hide things from her; we were just busy people andI was too busy for intimate friendships. Life was speeding by and I had no time for anything but small talk.

"Okay?" she said, and the hint of frustration was still in her tone.

Nellie didn't know anything about what was going on with Ethan, just that he was sick and having appointments. For all she knew it was the flu and lingering complications. I told her the bare minimum because I was too scared to open up, too scared to say it out loud and admit I was struggling. But I thought opening up to her might actually help her understand, and maybe it would show her that I wasn't intentionally dumping my business on her.

"So, I know you've been doing more than your share of work. I try really hard to show you I'm appreciative." I bit my lip and sighed as I made the final decision to tell her. "Ethan's been sick. You know that."

"Yeah, how's he doing?" she asked, and I knew she genuinely cared. When Ethan came in here after school some days to do his homework, Nellie was always friendly. She was great with kids, and she'd make a great mother someday.

"Not good…" I winced as I told her about his condition and how he was struggling. She listened thoughtfully, though she kept working. I did too. There was never any time to waste in a bakery, especially in the wee hours of the morning.

"So he has to have surgery?" The thoughtful question told me she was listening, and it felt good to get it off my chest. The only person I'd spoken to about this situation was Nick, and he was so close to it. I felt like it was hard for him to really understand how I was feeling, because as a doctor he saw things in matters of diagnosis and recovery, not emotional connection and heartache.

"Probably, though not yet…I'm sort of scared." I had to stop working for a moment and blink back tears. "I just thought if youknew the extent of what was going on you'd understand more. I'm not making excuses, and I do plan to hire more help around here, especially after Marisol quit."

Nellie smiled sadly. "It's okay, Scarlett. I get frustrated and snap sometimes. It doesn't mean I'm not trying to help or understand. We can find someone to help out who we both enjoy working with." She took a handful of flour and dusted the prep table again before rolling out more donut dough. She was such a diligent worker she could carry on a full conversation along with the work she was doing. I was impressed.

"There's more," I blurted out, finally feeling like I had someone to talk to. Life had been rolling along so mindlessly that I felt like I needed a good venting session. I wasn't really close to anyone, and I'd kept a lot of my fears and insecurities bottled up. After letting off some of the steam, the rest just wanted to explode out of me and there was little I could do to stop it.

"What's that?" she asked, picking up the rolling pin.

"I'm dating Nick Edwards," I confessed, though she probably had an inkling that was happening. I knew a few people around town had been talking about it already.

Nellie's eyes traced up to my face and she looked at me with concern. "The scandal guy?"

"I really need to get this off my chest, Nel." I didn't realize how good it felt to open up and talk about life until I told her about Ethan. Now I wanted to tell her about everything, because if I had to keep carrying it around on my own, I was going to snap. The other night when Nick asked me about having a family, I flipped out and almost told him about Ethan.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked me. I knew she wasn't judgmental like the rest of the town, but she did want what was best for the bakery.

"I slept with him." The admission rolled off my tongue as I chewed the inside of my cheek. "Eight years ago. I had a one-night stand. It was right before that scandal really blew up and I got really scared to pursue anything. I didn't want the backlash…And anyway. I was pregnant."

Nellie stared at me for a hard second as I raised my eyebrows and tried to control my breathing. No one else was here. The cameras I had installed for security didn't have mics for recording, but somehow I felt very exposed. My secret was out, even if it was just to a trusted acquaintance I was trying to build a bridge to friendship with.

"Oh no…" She shook her head. "So Ethan is…"