Page 31 of Lonely Hearts Day
“For real?” I asked. “What?”
“I’m not sure.”
Jack walked over, and my whole body buzzed to life when he leaned over and in my ear said, “Should we start the fire?”
I swallowed and nodded my head. “Yes, we should. Do you need help?”
“No, I got it.” He squeezed my arm and then was gone.
“I thought you said this was a singles party,” Laney said. “But you guys are allowed to be together?”
“We’re not together,” I said quickly.
She raised her eyebrows like that fact surprised her.
Troy chuckled. “He wishes.”
“What?” I asked, my heart racing.
“Nothing,” he said.
“No, what did you say?”
“He wishes?” Laney said. “That’s what I heard. Does he like her?”
“We’re best friends,” I said. Jack was the person who, above anyone, had been there for me unconditionally. How could I find out if we had something beyond friendship without the risk of changing everything? And did I want to? Maybe my parents had gotten it all wrong though—their reasons for separating. Maybe friendship was the best thing to have in love. Theonlyway to keep it strong.
Troy just raised his hands in surrender like he’d said too much. Had Jack said something to him? I watched Jack pour some fuel on the wood across the yard. My throat tightened. His once awkward gait had become more confident. Was he noticing things about me he hadn’t before? Was he, too, keeping these things to himself for fear of ruining everything?
“He’s giving Sage a second chance,” I said. I couldn’t forget that.
“Is he?” Troy asked like this was the first he’d ever heard of it. Then he held up a box of matches. “He might need these.”
“How did you get those?” I asked, then saw Jack pat his pockets and turn a circle, looking at the ground.
Troy gestured to the empty spot on the log next to him. “He left them here earlier.” He extended them out to me.
I took them. “Maybe we should play spin the bottle tonight.” The words rushed out of my mouth.
Troy jumped up in excitement. “For real?” Then he followed my gaze to Jack. “For real for real?”
“Don’t make it so obvious,” I said. “And I didn’t suggest it.”
He pretended to zip his mouth shut.
Was I going to kiss my best friend tonight? On the day we’d dedicated to celebrating singlehood? In the year I’d decided that love might be the biggest disappointment of all? In front of everyone?
I walked across the yard. Why did I suddenly feel nervous? This was Jack. Maybe because I didn’t trust anything happening inside of me right now.
I stepped up behind him. He had his phone flashlight on and was shining it on the ground.
“Did you lose something?” I asked.
“Yeah, I—” He stopped when he looked up and saw the matches sitting atop my extended palm. “Where were they?”
“Back by Troy.”
He reached for them and I closed my hand around the box before he could grab it. He pulled his hand back and I opened mine again. He, once again, reached for the box and I closed my hand. His brows went down and he met my eyes.