Page 102 of Brutal Reign
I should tell him the truth. He’s my best friend; we’ve always been honest with each other, even when it hurts. But how the hell do I explain that watching his relationship with River blossom has been slowly killing me inside?
The truth is, I did this to myself. I was confident with where things were at between me and River. I chose to stand back on the sidelines and push her into his arms, thinking that if the two of them worked their shit out, then things would fall into place for all three of us. Instead, it’s made me expendable. Now that they’re in a good place, they don’t need me anymore.
I’ve been trying to ignore my own feelings and focus on the remaining obstacles standing in our way, as if convincing myself that thiscan’twork will somehow soften the blow when she inevitably chooses Seb. The two of them make sense together. A hell of a lot more sense than the three of us do.
It’s ironic how I assumedhe’dbe the jealous one in this scenario, when in actuality, it’sme.
Sliding the crossfader bar, I gradually transition to the next song, glancing up and gauging the crowd’s reaction before pushing my headphones down off my ears and turning my attention on Seb. “What’s up?” I ask, schooling my expression until I’m the picture of nonchalance.
He frowns, not buying my act for a second. “Dude, cut the shit. Whatever’s crawled up your ass lately needs to be dealt with. I can’t just stand here and act like everything’s fine when you’re obviously spiraling.”
“I’m not spiraling,” I mutter.
“It’s River, isn’t it?” he questions, brow furrowing in contemplation. “You thought you’d be cool with sharing, but watching the two of us together is getting to you.”
I just stare back at him, deadpan, wondering when the hell Seb Walker became so damn perceptive. I’m always so focused on reading his moods that maybe I don’t give him enough credit for how well he can read mine.
He shakes his head, dropping his voice low. “You need to stop overthinking this, stop holding yourself back and take what you fucking want,” he bites out, narrowing his eyes on me and cocking his head to the side. “Why haven’t you fucked her yet, Ace? Is it because you’re still afraid this whole thing is gonna implode?”
Well shit, he just hit the nail on the head. So much so that something in me snaps.
Red bleeds into my vision as I shove him back with a snarl, all my suppressed emotion surging to the surface. “Yeah, Seb, I am! Is that what you wanna hear?”
“Well fucking stop!” he scowls, shoving forward and getting right up in my face again. “Stop trying to make sense of this and just go with what feels right! You told me to stop getting in my own way, and you need to do the same fucking thing, bro.” He stabs a finger into my chest, liquid gold bleeding into his irises. “I listened to your advice, so how ‘bout you listen to mine? Get out of your own head and claim your fucking mate.”
I slap his hand away, rolling my eyes with a mirthless laugh. “You really want me to fuck her?” I scoff. “You really think you’ll be able to deal with that?”
“Yeah, I do,” he huffs, folding his arms over his chest and lifting his chin. “Because that’s whatshewants, and this doesn’t work without all three of us. She needs you, Ace.Ineed you. I’ll be the first to admit that I had my doubts in the beginning, but there are things you can give her that she can’t get from me. Fate gave her both bonds for a reason, and I’ve made my peace with that. It’s about time you do the same.”
My chest heaves as I glare back at my best friend, knowing he’s right and fuckinghatingit. Turns out that while I have no problem doling out advice, I’m terrible at taking my own.
“Do you even want her?” Seb growls.
“Of course I fucking want her,” I snap.
“Then man up, bro,” he sighs, glancing out at our girl in the crowd. “Otherwise, I’ll just keep her for my damn self. Fuck fate.”
A growl rumbles in my chest as I glare daggers into the side of his face, his lips spreading into a grin as he turns his head to look at me again.
“Was that the kick in the ass you needed?” he taunts.
“Yeah,” I grunt, shoving my headphones up over my ears and turning back to my computer. It’s time to pick a new song, and I’ve got the perfect one in mind.
Queuing it up, my eyes fix on River as I start to slide the crossfader bar, waiting for the spark of recognition as the drum beat increases in volume, drowning out the song before. She snaps her head in my direction as soon as it registers, hazel eyes locking with mine and the bond between us tugging sharply.
Yeah, babygirl. I didn’t forget.
This one isn’t for the crowd. A lot of them stop dancing, jarred by the abrupt change in energy that comes with the song they probably don’t know. She does, though, and I’m only looking at her asMiles Davis & The Coolby The Gaslight Anthem plays, remembering that time I played it for her in my room when we were fifteen; the time we almost kissed.
Pulling my headphones off, I hand them over to Seb. “Run this shit for me, would ya?” I drawl, shuffling past him to step out from behind the DJ table. “I’ve gotta go dance with my girl.”
He starts to protest, saying something about how he has no idea how to DJ, but I’m already walking away, making a beeline for the hot brunette whose eyes are still locked with my own. Marching right up to River, I wrap an arm around her waist and yank her body against mine.
My gaze flickers down to her lips as I lick my own and murmur, “Dare you.”
Without a second’s hesitation, she flings her arms around my neck, pressing up on her toes and crushing her lips against mine. Everything around us ceases to exist– the ballroom, the people, the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. It’s just me and her and the music, lost to a moment in time.
I plunder her mouth with my tongue, burying a hand in the back of her hair and kissing her within an inch of her life, not coming up for air until it’s an absolute necessity. Even then, it’sjust for an instant, her lips breathing life back into me with every glide against my own.