Page 32 of My Best Years
I love Callum Pierce in the blood-deep, loyal way that you love a person who is family. I love him like two best friends who are old and gray, smiling next to each other because their friendship withstood the test of time. I love him like the sun loves the moon, constantly in orbit, chasing one another like two magnets.
My love for Callum runs deep in my bones, unending and never changing.
He is my one constant in life. And I’m his.
People may think it’s odd that we say “I love you” so often, but to us, it’s like the breath in our lungs. I need Callum to know that I love him like I need to breathe. I need him to know I will always be here for him, just like he promised me.
Callum inhales sharply while tilting his head up to the sky. When his gaze lowers to mine, his eyes fill with a sea of emotions: fear, anticipation, excitement, and hope.
“Birdie…” he stammers. “I need to talk to you about something.”
My stomach flips with nerves at the seriousness in his tone.
“Okay,” I whisper hesitantly, barely able to hear my voice over the ocean waves.
He reaches out and tucks a windblown strand of hair behind my ear, adding butterflies to the thunderstorm in my belly.
“I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a while,” he continues. “And I’m sure you already know what I’m about to say. Honestly, I should have told you months ago. But I’m scared, Birdie. This will change things between us. And that scares the shit out of me.”
Oh my God. Are we finally about to have this conversation?
A line of unease forms between his brows. My heart drums against my chest, and my hands grow sweaty as I ponder my next words. I want to ease his worries. I want him to know that I feel the exact same way.
“You know what scares me?” I mutter, our eyes locked together.
“What?”
“Graduating next year and never telling you how I feel,” I admit. “It terrifies me to think about us going off to college and leaving things unsaid. You’re my best friend, Cal. And nothing you say will change that. I’m sure whatever you feel, it’s the same for me. So please, just tell me.”
He swallows thickly and nods. His beautiful, dark curls blow in the salty breeze.
“I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Birdie,” he starts. “I’m tired of going to school and watching every dickhead guy think that they have a chance with you. I’m tired of people thinking that I’m just yourbest bud. It’s exhausting to try to look into your eyes when I really want to watch your lips move. It drives me mad to see other guys ask you on dates when I want to be the one taking you out. Instead of sitting next to you when we watch a movie, I want to put my arm around your waist and pull you into my lap. I want to know what it’s like to really hold you. I want to know what it’s like to be more than just your best friend. And selfishly, I want everyone else to know that you—Birdie Wren—are mine. But if being your friend is all you’ll let me have, I’ll gladly take it. I just need to let you know that I want more. I want so much more with you.”
I want everyone else to know that you—Birdie Wren—are mine.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
I have to remind myself to breathe after his confession. Because it’s all that I’ve ever wanted to hear. Too good to be true.
He was right; I knew exactly what he was going to say because I resonated with every word. But to hear the words finally come from his lips is like a fever dream. My cheeks heat as I turn my body to face his. Instead of fighting it, I let my eyes roam across his chiseled face.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you something, too,” I breathe.
He reaches for my legs, placing my calves on top of his thighs. His fingers lightly graze up and down my skin as he holds my stare. I can barely focus with his rough hands caressing my thighs.
“Tell me, Birdie,” he whispers.
He continues rubbing my legs as a beat of silence passes between us.
“One of the worst days I can remember is finding out that you asked Josie to be your girlfriend,” I mutter. “That was the first time I realized my feelings for you had changed. You looked so happy with her, and it killed me. Which is awful because I should have been happy for you. And when she broke up with you…I was so relieved. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was so glad to have you back. For you to fully be mine again. And after that day, I hoped and prayed that I’d never have to see you with another girl again. I used to think it was because I was selfish—a terrible friend. But now I know it’s because friendship doesn't feel like enough with you anymore. So, in case you’re wondering…I want more, too, Callum. I’ve wanted more for a long time.”
His lips turn up in a wide smile as his eyes gloss over with emotion. We hold each other’s stare, quietly soaking in the meaning behind our words.
“You know that no one has ever told me that?” he admits in a gravelly tone. “That they want me? That they love me? Not even my own parents. Just you, Birdie.”
My stomach drops at the somber confession about his parents. How could anyone not love Callum?
“What about Josie?”