Page 47 of My Best Years

“A margarita on the rocks would be great.”

I’ll need a little tequila to get me through tonight.

“One margarita on the rocks, coming up,” he clicks his tongue. “And for you, sir?” he turns to Callum.

“I’ll just take a beer for now,” Callum says politely. “Shiner, please.”

Shiner Bock.

I remember when Callum and I had our first beer together at seventeen. We went to a bonfire on the beach with some friends, and Callum paid some older dude to buy us a case of Shiner Bock. We thought we were so damn cool, hanging out with the older crowd and drinking our ice-cold beers.

“Got it,” our server adds, pulling me from the memory. “Your drinks will be out in a bit.” He turns around and disappears from view, leaving us alone again.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Making small talk right now feels so surface-level when there’s a much bigger conversation to be had.

Unable to meet Callum’s stare, I look down and fidget with my napkin.

“So, you’re a nurse now?” Callum asks, breaking our silence.

I purse my lips together, mustering up a half smile.

“Yeah,” I breathe.

“That’s awesome,” he grins. “How long have you been–”

I cut him off because I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t sit here and act like we’re two best friends playing catch up. We both know that’s not why we’re here.

“Callum…” I trail off. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I didn’t come here to make small talk or pretend that nothing happened between us. Eleven years ago, you left and never spoke to me again. After having sex with me,taking my virginity,you vanished the very next day. You left me so incredibly broken. Do you know what that does to a person, Callum? Do you know how disgusting I felt? How used I felt?”

The corners of his mouth draw down as sadness fills his features.

“Birdie…”

“I don’t want to talk about our jobs,” I shake my head. “Right now, I don’t care about your time in New York or if you have a cat or a dog. I want to know what happened. I’m here to give you a chance to explain why you didn’t have the decency to at least send me a text over the span of a decade.”

Callum swallows thickly as his eyes dart between mine.

“I know I sound like a bitch,” I continue. “But you leaving me like that fucked me up, Callum. For years, I was a shell of a human. But I’m here now, and I want to try to understand. Ihaveto try to understand. Because, once upon a time, I knew you, Callum. In my eyes, you hung the moon. And even though I’m so angry at you, I refuse to believe all of that was a lie.”

Callum folds his arms across the table and leans in toward me as his eyes soften.

“First of all, you don’t sound like a bitch,” he retorts, his tone serious. “You have every right to be fucking furious with me. What I did to you…”

He flexes his jaw while rubbing a hand against his stubble.

“There’s nothing worse than how I left you, Birdie,” he croaks. “It’s my biggest regret.”

As I stare into his cerulean eyes, my heart cracks because I see a glimpse of the boy I once knew. The kid whose parents never showed up to anything. The kid who spent every minute of his free time with me and my family because his was never around.

He’s right; I would be absurd not to be angry with him. But it’s no secret that something life-altering happened to him…Something terrible at the hands of his own father. And because of that, he has every right to be angry too.

I just need to know what happened all those years ago. I’m so tired of living in the dark.

“What happened to you, Callum? What did he do to you?”

My voice is barely a whisper as my stomach twists and turns.