Page 48 of Guarded By Death
"I know, babe. I'm sorry." He brings me closer to his chest and places a kiss on my hair, lingering longer than normal as he holds me tight. We sit in an understanding of silence for some time.
A sing-song voice takes off behind us, "Guys! Food is ready!" I turn to Mom’s direction to find her giggling to Brian as they stand on a light wood porch that's placed in the center of the house, higher than the room I'm in.
"Coming!" I yell back as Pierce stands and holds his hand out.
His eyes look at me cautiously as we make it back to my room, "Are you okay staying here?"
"Yes, as long as I don't have to sleep alone." I wink.
He slings his arm around me, covering me in his warmth, "I'll sneak in every night."
Twenty-seven
Look, we need to talk
The kitchen table is set for four which makes me anxious, it's always been just two placements for so long. She’s been so welcoming with Pierce that I was beginning to get used to three, one more may be too many.
Pierce’s hand is firm against my back and his fingers reassuringly circling my skin letting me know it's alright. He feels it, too. He feels what I do. "Is this the pasta salad you made the other day Ms. Wells?" he asks, saving me from speaking. My voice would crack if I did.
"I've told you to call me Stacy." She points an accusatory finger at him, "And yes. I knew how much you liked it after you ate three plates," she snickers.
"He eats so much!" I joke trying to break the tension I feel inside. But it's true, Mom and I have been cooking nonstop since he comes for dinner every night. It makes me happy that he loves to eat family meals with us.
Brian sits quietly at the round table, I'm thankful it's not rectangular so there is no definite head of the table. I try to imagine Brian as a parental figure, making decisions about important things with her.
I'm leaving for college soon and I don't want her to be alone. I need to work through my feelings of seeing her with someone else. It's not that I dislike Brian, I think he's very sweet, but their relationship only reminds me of the loss of my dad.
He was such a great man it's hard to think of anyone better suited for her, than him. I can't deny her shift in life since she met Brian though. Random bouquets sent to her at work with thoughtful cards attached that I've peeked at. It warms my heart to know she's happy again.
I don't realize I'm moving noodles around my plate absentmindedly until Pierce reaches under the table to grab the hand I've left resting on my right leg. I look up at him and muster a smile.
Mom clears her throat, "Brian and I will be heading out for dinner tonight, would you two like to come?" she offers.
I slowly shake my head, "I'm okay, we can make something here," I tell her, so I can give them their alone time and get some of my own as well. I glance at Pierce who brings a glass of lemonade to his lips to hide a smirk.
Brian straightens out in his chair. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. You can have whatever is in the fridge and pantry. Your mom mentioned you like ice cream, so I grabbed a few tubs since I wasn't sure which flavor you prefer," He smiles and Mom reaches for his hand, but hesitates when she sees me looking at them. I smile at her to say it's okay and she beams as she interlaces her fingers in his.
"Thank you." I smile at the thoughtful act before I return my attention to the pasta salad.
Like the true time warden she is, the second it reached eight o’clock she was hugging me to head off to her dinner with Brian. When the coast was clear I gestured for Pierce to follow me to the upper back deck.
Hand in hand we walk through a set of French doors and out onto the large upper porch, a floating swing that looks the size of a queen-size bed hangs from the white ceilings. I climb in and gesture for Pierce to follow. I want to explain to him why I am quiet towards Brian. Why this is all odd and new for me.
I look into his green eyes and see a flicker of light pass through them as he looks back at me. "I wanted to talk to you," I say quietly, and I note the way his muscles go stiff at my words. "It's okay, it's not about anything bad... It's about my dad," I admit as I look towards my feet.
He gently places both of his hands on mine. "I would love to hear about him, Scar, but if it gets too hard please stop yourself. I want to know everything about you but not at the expense that it hurts you." His reassuring smile sets me at ease as I nod.
I lay my back down against the soft cushion and he follows, we lay staring at the ceiling for a while so I can build up my courage. I turn on my side and see that he's already facing me, with a sweet smile playing on his lips. His dimples deep, his hair shining. It's so hard to concentrate when he looks at me this way.
"I don't know where to start." I breathe.
"Start wherever it makes sense to you."
I use my hands to help me talk, showcasing the story with gestures. "As you know my dad was in the military," A beat of silence passes between us. I've never had to tell this story to anyone, most of my friends were there when everything happened so this is beyond hard for me, but I want him to understand me more.
"He graduated from college and promptly joined the Army." I smile, then frown, then smile again. "Lieutenant Colonel, Mike Wells," I beam proudly. Pierce lets out a low whistle as I continue, "While he was in the Gulf War he earned a Silver Star for saving the lives of his men during an ambush, they were surrounded and he exposed himself to call in artillery fire to keep them off his men, they all lived." I smile, remembering him telling me of his war stories. He would always be so animated and alive when he spoke of them.
My fingertips drag along the chains that hold the bed up. "He was a Man of War. My other friend's dads would come back different but not mine, it never affected him." I shrug. "I never thought about it until I got older but it's just how he was built I guess,” I say, and Pierce nods his head. "On his last deployment, he was in Afghanistan for two years." I take in a deep breath to steady myself.