Page 22 of Crash into me
I put my headphones in, lying lazily on the concrete edge of the fountain and dangling my leg over the side. The music fills my ears, a song titled: Blue October – Hate Me Cover.
It’s Foster’s voice singing it.
The lyrics make me cry, at one point making me sob.
The words are filled of sadness, and it enrages me. How the world could be so cruel to rip us apart, to tear something so good and pure and leave us feeling like this.
I think that’s why I allow the rage to swell within me, why instead of going inside and going to sleep like I should, my hands are gripping around the head of the smiling statue.
It’s why I’m kicking it, laughing as the pieces fall and crumble to the ground. I find relief as I destroy something that was made for decoration and turn it into a pile of dust.
I was made like them, for smiles and compliments for their friends.
For show, a life made for show.
Act two, scene one.
They’ve dictated my life for so long, pulled the strings, directed it like a film.
I would rather crumble to dust than continue this any longer.
But Sophie.
But Sophie.
9
Her hair is covering my entire face, “Kate.” I whisper, slinging it away, catching a breath of fresh air. I reach for my phone, checking the time. “Oh no!”
“What?” She rolls around on the bed. “Why are we up?”
I peel open the curtain, flooding the room with light. “I have to be at the hospital for a checkup in like fifteen minutes.”
“Shit!” She flies off the bed, picking up her jeans from the floor and sliding them on. “Okay, let’s go!”
“You girls are in a hurry?” Rita asks as she leans against the door frame.
“I’m going to be late.”
Rita shakes her head. “When I got here earlier, I noticed the beer cans in the kitchen and figured you two could use a little more sleep.” She snickers. “I called Adeline and she pushed your appointment back an hour.” She hands us both two Motrin and a glass of water. “Drink up, breakfast is ready.”
* * *
The aromaof cheesy eggs hits me when I walk in the kitchen. That’s another thing about living in a big house: I never know what Rita’s preparing until I get closer to the other wing.
I push my fork around my plate. Kate’s in the shower, so I’m safe to talk. “Can we see Sophie?”
“I was planning on it. Are you nervous about today?” she asks.
I nod. “A little.”
“Just a little? Are you sure?”
I shrug. “Yeah.”
“So did a little anxiousness cause you to destroy those stupid statues in the garden?” She nods her head to the back door, a grin on her face.
I slam my head into my hands. “Oh my God.” How did I forget? Why did I do that.