Page 35 of Fall onto me
The thought reminds me of our argument earlier, and the reality that I don’t need to be planning a damn thing. “Hungry?” I ask him as he locks the door behind her.
“No, I’m going to go check on her.”
“Want me to come?”
He shakes his head. “She wants her big brother.” He flexes his muscles like it will scare away the storm, but to little Sophie, it just might. He disappears down the hall.
I hear the strumming of his guitar, and a low voice singing. Carefully, I walk back to peek inside the cracked door of Sophie’s room. She’s lying on her bed, tangled in stuffed animals and blankets with a nightlight on, and Foster is on the edge of her bed with his guitar.
The sweetest, most heartfelt rendition of ‘Hush little baby’ comes out of my tattooed, motorcycle racing boyfriend, and I nearly drop to the floor from how adorable it is.
While the butterflies have had a hard time waking up lately, it isn’t his fault. It’s that fear has driven my entire life recently. But seeing him like this, being a gentle teddy bear to calm his little sister from being scared of a storm, it ignites them in ways I didn’t know possible.
He would be such a great dad.
I don’t make a peep; I simply observe. He sings the song a few times, until she’s sleeping. He stands and turns towards me and drops his face into a nervous laugh as he steps into the hallway.
He grabs my hand and leads me to his room; I plop onto the bed and grab his remote as he puts his guitar back on its stand and lies down beside me.
I flip through the channels finding nothing in particular. “That was so cu—”
“Don’t,” he warns playfully, lying his head on my lap. “It’s something grandma always sang to us. Our parents did too.”
“I think it’s sweet.”
He sighs, “It’s a little lame.”
“No.” I shake my head, turning my attention to playing with his hair. “You’re a really good brother.”
I wonder if my life would have been different if I wasn’t an only child. Would I have had a big brother to save me from my own monsters?
11
Last night made me see a new side of Foster, not that I didn’t know he had a softer side.
I’m one of the few people in the world who gets to see that side, but seeing him with Sophie last night makes me do something I shouldn’t.
Think about our future.
He would be such a good dad. Serious when he needs to be but playful and loving. I know our children would never come to any harm at his hand or anyone else’s because he would die before letting that happen.
He would protect them.
The more these thoughts play through my mind, the more fear rises in me. If something were to happen to him, I wouldn’t find another like him.
There would never be another.
And that is why I cannot allow anything to happen to him.
I would rather perish by his side than spend one second without him on this earth.
He leans down to plant a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back.”
I lazily flip the page in my book. “Going to commit more crimes, Honey?”
He shakes his head, a smile lilting his lips. “Ha ha.”
“I’m coming!” I announce, setting the book down.