Page 43 of Timeless
“So?” the woman argued, slipping out of bed and into her dressing gown.
They’d talked about this a little bit since JD sent his last letter. He had tried to sugarcoat things, not telling them too much about the fighting. He’d been part of the first Marine group to be sent to the Pacific, and he couldn’t ever tell them where he was, but Harriet had been following the war news on the radio, so she could guess. Hehadtold them that Jacob had been injured in battle and was at the hospital. He didn’t even know how he was doing because he couldn’t tell them that the man was his husband, and they wouldn’t let him off the line to check on him, either. The letter had been written at night while he was supposed to be asleep.
John David had sent a few letters since he’d left, but less than ten. It was hard to get the letters out, Harriet imagined, just as it was challenging for them to get letters back to him, so they weren’t sure if he’d even gotten some of their own. He’d sent one just to Paul, and they’d read it to him. The boy was a little too young to understand it all, but they did their best to answer any questions, making sure to tell him that his father would be home as soon as he could.
After reading the most recent letter, Harriet thoughtabout her brothers. All three of them had eventually been sent to war, leaving behind their wives and their combined seven children. She hadn’t gotten any letters from them, but she checked with their wives frequently to see if they had any new information. A few weeks before the letter from JD, she’d found out that her youngest brother had been killed in battle. He was the best of her three brothers, at least trying to show her that he cared about her from time to time, and after that, Harriet read JD’s letter about Jacob being injured and him being tired of fighting already.
She’d tried to bring it up to Deb then, the idea of her being a nurse over there. She’d told her that it would be safe and that she’d be doing her duty, helping the men like her brothers, JD, and Jacob, but Deb’s tears had stopped her from talking about it further. Harriet couldn’t help it, though. She felt the calling to help however she could, and working in some factory wasn’t how she wanted to do her part. She could keep working the farm, but that didn’t feel right, either. Had she been born a man, she’d be over there already.
“You want to leave me?” Deb asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“That is the last thing I want to do. I love you. I want to be here with you. But I can’t help how I feel. It’s like this calling I feel in me.”
“Harriet, we finally have what we want. Paul is in school now. We have a house that’s ours. We’re together. It’s just us, and we’re happy. I never thought we’d ever get this, and a year after we finally do, you want to leave me?”
Harriet got out of bed and put on her own dressing gown. She didn’t want to be naked with Deb right now when they talked about this.
“No, I don’t. But my brother died, Deb. He’s gone, and he was the only one who even cared that I was his sister. You know most of my family never cared about me, but he did a little. JD is over there. He’s Paul’s father. What if I can help him?”
“There are many doctors and nurses over there already,Harriet. Why does it have to beyou?”
“You let JD go.”
“JD isn’t the love of my life,” Deb let out with a sob. “He’s not the woman I love more than anything, whom I want to wake up to every morning, who is the other parent to my son, even when JD is here because while he’s a good father, he’s still a father and isn’t as involved as you are in Paul’s life. I can’t lose both of you. I wouldn’t make it. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, you would.” Harriet tried to approach her then, but Deb backed away from her. “Deb, you’re the strongest person I know.”
“I’m not strong enough to lose you.”
“I’ll come home. I’m not fighting, Deb. I’m only going to help. They might not even want me there because I didn’t go to school for it. I only–”
“They’ll just train you up how they train the boys to fight.” Deb covered her mouth and continued to sob.
Harriet wanted to take it all back. She wanted to pull Deb into her, hold her forever, and tell her that she wouldn’t go. She’d never seen Deb look like this before, and it tore her apart to think that she’d brought this on.
“Maybe they won’t.”
“If you join up, you’re in the Marines, Harriet. It’s not just for the war, is it? You join up for that, but they could keep you there longer. JD said he had to sign something.”
“I can’t help what I’m feeling,” she said quickly. “I’ve got a niece and nephew who won’t know their daddy, and I want to help so no one else has to lose someone, Deb.”
“You don’t even like your brothers.”
“Not much, no. But their kids don’t deserve to lose their fathers, do they?” she asked a little louder than she’d planned. “It’s not their fault our parents raised us how they did.”
“What about Paul?”
“What about him?”
“He’s your son, isn’t he? Calls you, ‘Mama.’ What if… What if you don’t come home?”
“I will come home.” Harriet moved to her then.
Deb didn’t move back this time, so Harriet wrapped her arms around her and held her close.
“This is important to me, Deb. I’ve never had a purpose for my life other than you. And I’ve loved every minute of that purpose, but no one even cared if I got married or had kids myself. No one cared enough about me to tell me that I could do anything.”
“I did.”