Page 39 of Ghost
“I’m so sorry, big guy. I should have told you before you went all the way out there. I just didn't know how,” she whispers, and I reach up to run my fingers through her hair.
“It's your story to tell, and you get to be the one who decides when and who gets to hear it.” She takes a deep breath before looking up at me.
“When I was nine, my mom married Paul Pinkins. Let's just say he never fit the fantasies of being this big happy family, of suddenly having a dad to teach me to ride a bike or threaten boys away. From the first day, he was cruel in the worst of ways, but it wasn't until I turned eleven that he started paying extra close attention to me.”
I clench my fists and jaw, trying not to completely lose my mind at the thought of that man hurting her. Of him putting his hands anywhere near her, but I need to hear whatever she has to tell me.
“It went on and on, and no matter how many times I tried to tell my mom, it was always the same. I would get slapped for lying and locked in my room for days on end, with no water or food. I thought I would starve to death on more than one occasion. I wish I would have run sooner, but then again, I wouldn't have the life I have now if I had. I couldn't change that for the world.” She takes a deep breath before continuing.
“When I was fourteen, I found out about Lyra. The circumstances might have been the worst possible scenario when it came to that man. Still, the minute I knew I had a baby inside of me, an innocent little life, one that I knew I had to protect, everything changed. B-but then…” Her voice cracks, and I hold her tighter as her shoulders shake.
“My mom found out about the baby. She walked in while I was changing one day, and let’s just say the proof was in my baby bump. She screamed, and that was when Paul came rushing in. I remember the yelling and screaming. The hit I didn't see comingstraight at my stomach. They were going to kill the baby and probably me too, if I didn't do something. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I was only trying to get out of the house. I wanted to threaten them to get back, but they just kept coming at me. I didn't know what to do. I..”
“Shhh, shhhh, shhhhhh. It's okay, baby. I’ve got you. Forever and always, I’ve got you. You protected your baby. You gave that girl a fighting chance. You raised a sweet daughter that saved the life of an innocent little boy one day. You did good, mama, and none of that would have ever happened if those fuckers were allowed to live. You gave life, and all they ever did was take it. There is nothing for you to feel guilty or sorry about. They would have taken you and Lyra out of this world and away from me.”
She sobs into my chest for minutes on end, and I just hold her together as best as I can. I’ll be her glue from now until the end of my days. I’ll put her back together and keep her that way for the rest of her life. After a time, she finally pulls back and looks into my eyes. Hers are swollen and red, with mascara running down her face and red lipstick smeared all over her mouth. She's the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“Are you mad at me for keeping it from you?”
“I understand you had your reasons. I’m not angry, just heartbroken." Her expression falters. "But not with you, baby girl. I’m heartbroken that I didn’t make you feel like you could trust me completely—with every piece of your soul. That you couldn’t trust me enough to share one of the heaviest burdens you’ve been carrying alone. If I’d done a better job showing you how deeply I love and treasure you, maybe you would have felt safe enough to let me carry some of that pain and guilt with you."
“This isn't about you, though, Devon. Itismy burden to carry. I was the one…”
“No. That's not what a partnership is. We are supposed to lean on each other. Carry those burdens together.”
“Are you going to tell me about every mission you’ve been on? Every time you had to do something despicable for your team, your men?” she asks, and I can see the pain in her eyes. She’s held this guilt with her all these years, and it's eating her up inside.
“Bunny, look at me.” When she does, I let her see the truth in my face at my next words. “There is not one ounce of guilt I feel for ridding the world of those who would harm the innocent. I never took the life of someone who didn't have it coming. I will tell you as much information as you want about my past, every detail you're willing to take, but it's not pretty, and I don't want you carrying that on your soul. However, your past is nothing you should be ashamed of. I’m damn fucking proud you fought for your life and the life of your daughter.”
“I love you so much, Devon. More than I ever thought was possible.”
“And I love you to pieces, baby girl. I’ll tell you anything and everything you ever want to know about my life, past, present, and future. All you need to do is ask.”
Never one to back down from a challenge, my Tizzy-girl's eyes light up with mirth.
“Oh yeah, lot of talk, big guy. What if I wanted to ask you about your future? Our future and if it might include a ring.”
“Well, of course it does, Bunny. I’m damned determined to make an honest woman out of you. Just don't want no trouble hanging over our heads. I want our future to be set with nothing but bright days. Plus, you deserve a proper proposal,” I say, giving her a wink. She swoons, and I can't help but puff my chest out a bit.
Someday, I will figure out exactly how to give my girl the world. Someday.
Chapter Thirty
Tizzy
It's been a few weeks since I finally got my story out, and let me tell you, Devon's words did wonders for my soul. I feel lighter with each day and with every one of his crooked smiles.
My problem now? I don't feel like punishing myself anymore. I feel free, and I want to live. I want to walk down the street and get to know the town. I want to have coffee at the diner in the middle of town. Actually, is there a diner in the middle of this town? Well, I want to figure that out, too. You know, like Gilmore Girls and all that Jazz. I think it's like that. Lyra had always watched that show, but I had only ever caught it at first glance.
The problem is, until we figure out who’s been stalking my behind, I’m supposed to stay indoors and underground to keep me safe. Blah, blah, blah. Do I understand it? Yes, but I also know I promised myself a long time ago that I would never let anyone control my life again. For the past few months, that's exactly what's been happening. This freaky-deaky stalker has kept me prisoner in my own home because of a little bit of fear. That ends now.
As I stomp down the hall toward my man's office, I refuse to be distracted by his charms this time. I’m all about determination. Getting to his door, I push it open, not waiting for my invitation.
“I’m putting my heels down!” I announce to the room. Omen, Devon, and Cesar all turn to look at me. I place my closed fists on my hips and stare them down, showing the intimidation tactics I’ve learned from these guys after months of study.
“Uh… okay. What exactly are you demanding, Bunny?” Devon asks, confused. Still, he pushes his chair back from his desk and pats his lap, inviting me to sit. I smile and start to head that way, until I realize I’m supposed to be demanding things, and I can't do that if he’s touching and kissing me. I’ll never convince him to let me leave. He’ll just end up convincing me to go down to our bed.
Really, is that such a bad thing, though? I mean, a romp in the hay with…