Page 4 of Man of Honor
“I don’t remember asking,” I replied, staring at the highway so hard the canopy of trees blurred in my periphery.
“You still mad at me after all this time?” He sounded way too casual, like it was just a simple question with a simple answer.Nothing between us had ever been simple.
“I’m not mad,” I replied—and I wasn't.Mad didn’t begin to cover it.“Now talk. What happened out there?”
“I didn’t hurt her,” he said, instantly defensive.
I sighed. Of course, Gage hadn’t hurt her.He was wild and reckless, but he’d never hurt anyone who didn’t have it coming a dozen times over.The kid was tough as nails, yet undeniably good-hearted, even if he could never see that part of himself.
I still remembered the terrified little boy with the big gray eyes who clung to my neck as I carried him from the bayou.He wasthe smallest ten-year-old I’d ever seen, so thin and frail that his limbs were like toothpicks.I was a young cop barely out of the academy, still stunned by the depravity people could inflict on each other.Especially their own family. The hospital reports were horrific, and I’d felt such vicious satisfaction slapping cuffs on his father that it was almost a high.No one survived trauma like that unscathed. I’d spent years trying to convince Gage he could do better—bebetter—if only he believed in himself.But those words never stuck, and to my horror, as he grew up, he misread my interest as something more. Something immoral. I never meant to hurt him, but I knew that I had.
“I know you didn’t hurt her,” I said, keeping my voice even despite my razor-thin patience. “Just tell me what happened.”
He shrugged, but I could see his fingers clenching and unclenching in a tell he’d never outgrown.“Some guys were getting rough, so I stepped in.They caught me from behind and dumped us in a pit near the water.I don’t know why they didn’t finish us off.Chickenshit, I guess. I don’t know what happened to the girl once I was out cold, but I couldn’t find any obvious injuries besides the gash on her head.”
“Did you ever think to find a phone and call for help?”
He rolled his tongue over his teeth and thought it over for a hot second.“Nope.”
A snort escaped before I could stifle it, and he shot me a crooked smile.For a moment, it felt like old times.Then our eyes met, and whatever humor I felt evaporated.His eyes were still mesmerizing, an intense, unnervingly pale gray that were almost hypnotic if I stared too long.Heat crept up the back of my neck.I forced my attention to the road, but I could still feel the weight of his gaze.
He shifted, stretching like a cat, and then froze with a swift intake of breath.
“You okay?” I asked, harsher than I’d intended.
“I’m always okay,” he wheezed.
I let it slide for now and focused on the information I needed.“Where did this all go down?”
“The parking lot behind the Dead End.”
“Can you identify them?”
Gage tilted his head to the side and cracked his neck.“I can,” he said slowly, turning it over in his head, “but I probably won’t.Not for you, anyway.”
“Who, then?” I demanded, trying not to let my irritation show. “Gideon?”
His smile came slow and sly and damn near irresistible.“Gideon’s a priest. What do you think he can do about it?”
I couldn’t help it; I laughed.Everyone in Devil’s Garden knew the collar around Gideon Beaufort’s neck was more like a leash.It kept him in line for now, but one day it would probably snap.Being a priest was what Gideon did, but it wasn’t who he was.He was…something else entirely.Something that I didn’t like turning my back on.Him and Dominic both.
The whole family was trouble, but the biggest threat was sitting right beside me.The day Gage left, it felt like someone had taken a knife to my heart.The guilt I felt over how I'd treated him nearly ruined me.Now, he was back, and with one look, he'd shoved that blade deep and twisted it all over again.
I was bleeding like hell and pretending I was fine.
My obsession with him back then had been wrong—and it was still wrong.Gage wasn’t some troubled kid anymore, but I was still nine years older than him, and I’d always be the man who’d saved him from the hell he was born into.I’d die before I abused that power.I refused to sink that low, not even if he begged...and he had.
“Why’d you come back?” I hadn’t meant to ask, but there was no answer I wanted more.
Gage turned to look at me, but he didn’t answer right away.I could tell he was weighing his options.Finally, he muttered, “Just wanted to pay my respects."
It was a safe answer. I’d expected him sooner, but when he didn’t turn up for the funeral, I'd given up hope.“I’m sorry about Boone,” I said finally.“Devil’s Garden hasn’t been the same since he died.”
"Yeah," he said, so softly it sounded like he was talking to himself."Well, it wouldn't be, would it?"
When I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, he was staring out the window, but I caught the flex of his throat when he swallowed.That little hint of vulnerability nearly undid me.Gage was always so guarded that it knocked the wind out of me whenever I caught a crack in his armor.For one brief moment, I saw a glimpse of the vulnerable kid I used to know.Part of me wanted to reach out, pull him close, and tell him everything was okay.But I didn’t. I couldn’t. We weren’t those people anymore.Hell, we’d never been those people, no matter how much we might’ve wanted to be.
“Your brothers have kept Eden House running,” I said, clearing my throat.“They’ve got four kids in the foster program now.I put them there myself. That part of Boone's legacy is still going strong.”