Page 70 of Recipe for Rivals
“I know.” She dried it and stacked it with the rest of her plates. “I really don’t mind. The cookies freeze well, so I’ll just make a few more when I do June’s.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Consider it repayment.”
Something about that felt a little weird to me. I picked up my bag of food and walked toward the door. She must have sensedmy reaction because she followed me, holding the handle when I stepped outside. “You really don’t owe me anything, Nova. You don’t have to repay me. If you feel like youhaveto do this, then I don’t want the cookies. I’m not trying to guilt anyone into helping.”
She cringed. “I shouldn’t have said it like that. I really am happy to help.”
My eyebrows shot up. “So you can feel that way, but I can’t?”
Nova chewed on her bottom lip, watching me. She glanced over her shoulder before following me out onto the porch. Testing the handle, she made sure it was unlocked before pulling the door closed, likely so the kids wouldn’t overhear whatever she was about to say.
“I’m kind of in a weird position.” She looked at me, the orange porch light from one of the houses across the street glowing in her eyes. “I’ve been acting like a single parent for the last few years, even though I had a husband. But he was still there, and when I had things come up like this bed or the stupid jar I can’t get open, I could wait until he’d come home and help me out. Now that I’m actually a single parent and I don’t have a husband around, it just feels…I don’t know, like I’m supposed to be able to do it on my own? That if I can’t, it proves I still need Carter?”
This was the most personal Nova had become with me, and I really didn’t want to say anything stupid and mess it up. “You don’t want him to win,” I guessed. It made sense, and it explained why she thought everything needed to be tit for tat. Why she would only agree to make the cookies if she thought she was paying me back for all I’d done for her. She couldn’t see how strong and resilient she looked from the outside.
Nova’s shoulders relaxed. “Something like that. Right now, he’s totallywinning.”
My stomach tightened. That didn’t sound good. Did thishave something to do with why she had been crying earlier? “Right.” I nodded slowly. “He got all the furniture.”
She gave a watery chuckle.
“The way I see it, you’re way ahead. You got the kids, and they’re both pretty rad.”
She peered at me. “Do people even sayradanymore?”
“I just did. You also got all this open space and clear air.” I gestured to the world around us. “And, not to brag, but it seems like you got a pretty great sofa, too.”
She leaned back against the door and looked out at the dark sky. “It is pretty out here. You don’t see this many stars in Manhattan.” Her gaze slid to me. “I know you’re just being nice, but thank you. Ben really loves being on the football team. I think it’s giving him a place to be included, to get involved. Alice never talks to anyone, so you’re clearly a hit with both of them.”
My chest warmed at this praise. Hearing from Nova that her kids liked me was almost as good as gaining the respect and admiration of a cat—hard won. “Like I said, they’re pretty rad. I can’t believe Alice willingly told me all about Peaches at dinner.”
Nova looked at the stars as she talked. “She got that monkey on a day out with Carter. He took the kids so I could go to the hospital when my sister-in-law went into labor. My brother was out of town and the baby was early and…anyway, long story, but Alice got the monkey that day. It was probably the only time Carter had the kids without me for a twenty-four hour period, and they soaked it up to their bones. That monkey is a bonafide member of the family now, it’s so important to her.”
“I can see why. She probably connects it to her dad, whether it’s subconscious or deliberate.”
“Probably,” she agreed lightly. “And he’s so…I could just wring his neck. There is nothing so painful as watching your kids wait while the phone rings or the call gets rejected day after day. He’s supposed to get them for two weeks in the summer as part of our divorce agreement, but I’m scared to send them. Especially not now that—” She pulled up short, her eyes darting to me and away.
Curiosity burned in my gut. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to share.”
She groaned, sitting on the top step of the staircase leading down to the street.
I moved to sit beside her, putting the paper bag of food behind me.
Her head in her hands, her voice came out muffled. “His girlfriend just moved in with him. I think it’s a girlfriend. I don’t actually know anything.”
My body froze. “I’m sorry, Nova.”
She looked up. “I don’t really care. I shouldn’t, at least, but it feels weird. This strange girl is in my house, sitting on my chair, using my pots and pans to cook for my husb—ex. My ex-husband. Until a few days ago, the only thing I had to sit on were bar stools or a blow up mattress. I shouldn’t be angry at him, but I am. And I don’t even know how to navigate introducing my children to this woman I’ve never met or trust them in a house with her at some point in the future.”
Wow. I couldn’t even begin to understand the difficulty she faced. I wanted to pull her into my arms and soothe her stress, but that wouldn’t make the situation go away or help her figure out what needed to be done.
“Then there’s part of me that knows Carter has way more money than he needs, and he should be paying much higher child support since I have the kids ninety-five percent of the time. Now that I’m out of the divorce haze, I can see he swindled me in the proceedings somehow. He’s a lawyer. I thought keeping it out of the courts and settling on our own would be healthier for all involved. I feel like an idiot.”
“You aren’t, so you can put that thought away.” My bloodhummed angrily, but I shoved the fury down. It wasn’t what she needed. “He preyed on your grief.”
“He did,” she agreed, turning her head to look at me, though it still rested in her hands. She gave me a self-deprecating smile. “It’s no wonder I’m so screwed up.”