Page 37 of Ravager

“Oh, of course not,” he said, his teeth shining. “I’ll pay lip service to their god, but I won’t forsake my own. It’s no better than I’m sure you’d do in church.”

My eyes narrowed. “You don’t know what I do in church.”

“Well,” he began, and his attention drifted to the dirt road in front of us. “I’ve seen what you can do in the bedroom. No God-fearing woman would ever attempt that.”

“You gave me no choice,” I said for the second time, but my argument was starting to sound weak, even to my own ears.

“You always have a choice, my beauty. You could have fought. You could have tried to flee. You could have screamed or cried and, believe me, my heart has been so soft around you that your tears would have called the whole thing off.”

I looked down at my hands, the stiff leather of the reins wrapped around them. Rolf was right. I could have done all those things, and though I knew any resistance probably would have been futile, I didn’t try. I didn’t try because I was curious. Because although Rolf scared me, I was intrigued by my fear.

We rode for a while longer before we pulled into a sun-dappled meadow framed by golden-leaved alder trees. The leaves fell to the ground, glowing like sunshine with each breeze that passed through the white branches. It was a peaceful place, even romantic, and I felt immediately at ease.

We dismounted and let our horses drink from the nearby stream, sitting on a dry log while Rolf fished out the contents of the food basket. There were berry preserves and boiled quail eggs, roast beef and chunks of hard cheese. A small pigskin canteen of merlot was also included, as well as a few squares of homemade caramel for dessert.

I still couldn’t get used to the quality of the food I was eating, and the appetite I had lost the night before was back with a vengeance. After a life of eating moldy root vegetables, stale bread, and the occasional chicken, I felt like I was dining like a queen. It was unfortunate I still felt a stab of guilt with each bite I took, a reminder my family had to die for me to experience something better.

And was this better?I eyed Rolf as we ate, wondering about his true nature. He was a powerful and frightening man at times, but then, he was so sweet to me at others. Erik had made him seem like both a monster and a friend, and I wasn’t sure which one he was. I decided to bring him up.

“Tell me about your relationship with Erik,” I said as I picked up a caramel square and placed it in my mouth. My tongue buzzed with the sugar.

“Erik is a good warrior,” Rolf said. “He’s my oldest friend. We used to play together as children in Møre, you know. He was a strange little thing but loyal. Loyalty is hard to find these days, believe me.”

“Has he always been so…cold?”

Rolf smiled and tore into a bite of roast beef. “Yes, that’s Erik. You know, he’s a rather brutal man. A killer through and through.”

I nearly choked on my caramel. This wasn’t the Erik I knew.

He licked his lips at my worry. “Don’t look so shocked. You can see it, can’t you? He is still Erik the Axe. He would jump into battle, chopping off heads like they’re dying trees.”

“You called him civilized,” I began.

“He’s much more civilized now, but don’t be fooled. There’s a killer in his heart, and that killer will always be dying to come free. That’s why you’re with me now.”

My heart thudded against my chest as I paused. “What?”

“Of course, I couldn’t leave you in his charge for much longer. I only asked Erik to take care of you because I didn’t have the time. Too busy strategizing, you know. But I didn’t want to push my luck. I was afraid that the longer you were with him, the more harm he would do to you.”

It was a blow to my chest, shattering my reality. Could he really be right about Erik? He had always been kind and gentle towards me—most of the time, anyway. I thought I had seen the real man hidden beneath his icy exterior.

“He’s insanely jealous too, and even though the agreement was that he was saving you from death, saving you purely for me, I couldn’t trust him to do anything else. Some days, I feared for your life, my beauty. But none of that matters now. Erik won’t be touching you anymore. You’ll be with me and with me alone. That does interest you, doesn’t it?”

I gave him a weak smile, unsure of what to think anymore. “It does.”

“I understand, though, that you need some time to warm up to me. Pure sexual pleasure isn’t enough for some women. So, ask away. Ask me anything. Get to know me.”

I bit my lip and tried to ignore the betrayal coursing through my veins. I had to forget about Erik, fast. I took a deep breath and sat up straight on the log.

“Alright, Rolf. Tell me...were you ever married?”

A shadow fell across his brow, and he looked down at the ground. “Yes,” he said thickly. “I was. I had a wife and a little boy, Bjorn. They’re both dead now.”

Heat flared across my cheeks. How could I have been so stupid to ask him something like that?

“I am so sorry, milord. I-”

He raised his hand and fixed his coal-colored eyes to the distance. “You couldn’t have known. And please don’t call me something that stuffy. I am but Rolf to you. And maybe a future duke, if you could be my duchess.”