Page 110 of Fierce-Michael

She’d have to keep that part of it secret and to her that was the reason she walked out on Michael and was upset over everything.

“I don’t want you taking sides. I just want you to listen and tell me if I’m wrong or not.”

“So far, you’re not. You’re entitled to feel the way you do and to let him know. It’s taken longer than I thought it would for you to feel this way. To say you won’t feel it at some point isn’t normal. And for him to expect you not to have some concerns about it at times, is him being naive.”

“He’s not naive,” she said. “I want to say he’s blind, but I don’t think he is that either. He said part of this had to do with him not thinking because he was in the middle of something.”

“Again, that could be the case,” her mother said. “What did he say about Brian?”

“I told him he was more concerned about making Electra happy. Or even if he wasn’t subconsciously thinking that, it’s what happened. He said I’m the last person that should comment on people being happy that I’m such a people pleaser that I married a man to fulfill his dying wish.”

“That was wrong,” her mother said. “I want to hate him for that.”

“Don’t hate him. Please. I can’t live with that. I don’t even hate him, but I’m hurt that he said it. I don’t even think he meant it as much as it was just a dirty shot.”

“People don’t say things that they aren’t thinking,” her mother said.

“I don’t understand why he said it unless it was just his defense.”

“I’m sure that is part of it, but for a man who is in control all the time with his messed up ex and doing everything right, he didn’t take those steps or wasn’t considerate enough with the woman he loved. And for those reasons, I’m pissed off as your mother.”

Kelly was crying even harder. Her mother only validated what she felt. “I know. I think all of it together is making me look at him differently and that is upsetting too. I didn’t expect that of him.”

“You don’t know how someone is in a fight until you have that fight. Now you know he might be someone that holds things in and lets them out at the worst time or can’t let something in the past go.”

“I don’t like that either,” she said. “I’ve got enough things in my life that I struggle with and can’t let go.”

Her mother reached her hand out and laid it on hers. “I don’t want that for you. What you and Brian had is in the past. His parents made it out to be anything but a love union.”

“You guys didn’t think it was either,” she said. “Admit it.”

“We were wrong. You were kids going through a horrible time. Brian put a lot on your shoulders and I hurt for you to see that stress and struggle. That is a parents’ job and curse when their child is suffering to want to fix it.”

“And I have to remember that about Michael too.”

“That is true,” her mother said. “And good that you can see that. But worrying that a four-year-old doesn’t see his motherany other way than happy isn’t the same thing. Life doesn’t work that way.”

“I said that too. He’s doing a disservice to Ty by letting him think the world is one way when it’s not. You can’t put your kid in a bubble. I didn’t say that to him and wanted to. I left before I said anything more I might regret.”

“Which is smart in a way. Not walking away, but you did what was right for you,” her mother said.

“I think I went into protection mode.”

“And though I don’t want to give Michael any nods, he could argue he does that all the time with Ty. But there comes a time when you have to let your child fly on their own. Four is young, don’t get me wrong.”

“I understand what you’re saying. You and Dad let me have some wings with Brian.”

“Your father and I regret not saying more, but what were we going to do? You married him without our knowledge. It was done. We felt the best we could do going forward was support you. It’s not as if you were living together.”

“His parents would never let me move in, but they did let me stay there so that Brian wasn’t alone. I feel like they used our marriage when it was convenient for them.”

She’d never said those words out loud before.

“Your father and I talked about that too. If there had been a different ending, no one knows what things would have been like.”

Fresh tears fell down her face. “I think I didn’t expect an ending other than what happened and that is why I married him. Am I horrible saying that?”

In her heart, though she loved Brian, she knew it was temporary. There was no future and all she was doing was putting her life on hold for a boy she’d loved most of her life. Itwasn’t much of a sacrifice to her. It had nothing to do with being a people pleaser and just doing what felt right at the time.