Page 102 of Be Mine Forever
“What have you messed up?”
What was left of the grin curdled on Cam’s lips, spoiled by the memory of all the things he’d screwed up.
“You want a comprehensive list?”
“Sure, if you have one.”
“I had a little girl.” Cam’s throat was a furnace, with the words trapped like fiery coals. “Kerris was pregnant with her when she had a car accident.”
“It was an accident, Cam. You realize that, right?”
“It was my fault, though. Kerris was chasing me.”
“What else was your fault?”
“I see through you, you know. I know what you’re doing.”
“Oh, what’s that?” Dr. Stein seemed genuinely curious, but Cam wasn’t fooled.
“You want me to admit I think Mac abusing me was somehow my fault, but I don’t think that.”
“Good. Then we can move on. That would be ridiculous. To blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
“I see what you’re doing. You’re still doing it. I’ve seenGood Will Hunting.”
“I typically recommend all my patients watch that movie.” Dr. Stein scribbled in the margin of her journal. “Just making a note that that won’t be necessary with you.”
The smile was on Cam’s face before he could help it.
“Talk to me about Mac.”
So much for smiles.
“What about him? He molested me for about a year and then he died.”
“And you killed him, correct?” Dr. Stein glanced at her notes, looking up to see Cam nod. She’d assured him that his secret would be safe under patient-therapist privilege. “That must have been traumatic.”
“No more traumatic than stepping on a poisonous spider.”
“Why did you keep the gun?”
Cam shifted in his seat, eyeing her degrees on the wall.
“A souvenir, I guess.”
“And the bullet? You left it loaded as a souvenir, too?”
Cam rubbed his fingertips together but didn’t answer.
“You said you’d always reach for the gun under your bed. What did the gun represent to you?”
“Safety.” The word snuck out from between Cam’s slammed-shut lips.
“But he was dead. Why did you still need protection?”
“No one else protects you. You have to protect yourself.”
“You mean like your mother didn’t protect you?”