Page 81 of Chasing Caine
His brow creased. I’d skipped the big decision, and my life made no sense without it. “You didn’t actually want to be in the FBI?”
I chewed on my bottom lip, scanning the hundreds of people strolling the Lungomare. Friends, couples, families. Mothers. So many mothers with their kids.
“Matthew made you leave?”
I shook my head, watching a trio of women who looked like three generations. “No, it was my choice.”
When I didn’t continue, he prodded. “But the excitement in your eyes at the auction and then with Umberto. Your passion is so clear. Why would you turn away from that?”
“It was my mom,” I said through a clenched jaw, the stinging behind my eyes growing.
He spoke slowly, quietly. “Your mother told you to leave the FBI?”
“She came to Virginia for my graduation. We had breakfast together that morning. Before I left, she hugged me. Told me she was proud of me. And the last thing she said was—” I clamped my eyes shut, trying desperately to keep the tears from starting. How could I tell him and not think about it at the same time? “She said, ‘Next time I see you, I’ll be calling you Special Agent Caine.’”
I shuddered, a lump wedging itself in the middle of my throat. As my head fell into my hands, he wrapped both of his strong arms around me.
“I’m here, Samantha.” He stroked my hair, giving me exactly what I needed.
Why was I telling him all this? I’d never even told Cass the toll Mom’s death had taken on me. But he was so warm and solid. His heart beat slow and steady. I held onto him like the rock he was. He was my shelter. Already. After only five weeks.
He pressed his cheek against my face, and I nuzzled into the side of his neck. Here I was, weak and soft again with him. But this time I didn’t hate myself for it. All I wanted was to stay in his arms for the rest of my life. To hold him.
And above it all, not finish my story.
But I had to.
The whole point of this trip was to see if we could have a future together. To see if we could last the months apart and if he was worth changing the entire trajectory of my life. If I couldn’t tell him this thing, we didn’t stand a chance.
I pulled out of the embrace and he wiped my tears away with his thumbs.
“She didn’t make it to the ceremony. Car accident—” My breath hitched and goosebumps crept up my arms.
He rubbed his hands up and down them, nodding.
“I took a week off, then I went to Boston for my assignment.”
“For the Gardner Museum?”
“Yeah. I’d landed my dream job right out of the Academy.” I focused on the little golden flecks in his eyes, sparkling in the sun. “But every time someone called me Special Agent Caine, I broke down.”
He tilted his head toward me as I paused, his brows drawing down. He kept his gaze locked on me, not flinching for a second. As though he were lending me his strength to get through this. How lucky was I to have found him?
“Couldn’t hack it. I lasted one week before I quit. Moved back home and told everyone I missed Matt too much. We got married less than a month later.”
“Did you ever tell him that?”
“Nope.” I fingered the loose neckline of his shirt, tapping him gently on the chest. “You’re the first.”
“Thank you for trusting me with this.” He kissed my forehead. “And what about now? Elliot still wants to work with you.”
“I told him I’d call him after Cass’s treatments are done.”
He froze, eyes widening. Likely worried about me leaving Brenton. Perfectly justified, considering how I’d been obsessing over the stolen fresco.
“Antonio, that was before the press conference.”
He pulled away and dropped back to his knees, fussing with the bandage around my ankle.