Page 38 of Wyatt
A superspy didn’t spend hours binge-watching television because she was afraid to sleep.
A superspy didn’t sit by the phone hoping the man she’d walked away from would call from the other side of the world.
She wasn’t anything but super pitiful.
“I can’t go back to work either to try and find them because when Ford and I fled Russia, we found out that the CIA had put a hit on me too.”
Reuben’s eyes widened. “What—?”
“The Chief of Station at the embassy in Russia, a guy named David Curtiss, said that he’d also heard rumors that there was a rogue group working inside the CIA and they had made me the prime suspect.”
“The CIA can’t kill their own people.”
She lifted a shoulder.
“Is there no one you can trust? No one you can talk to?”
“And tell them what? I have no evidence. Not until Wyatt gets home with the information Coco is giving him.”
Reuben just stared at her. Then, quietly. “Whatdid you say?”
Oh. So maybe Wyatt had left big bro out ofthatconversation.
“Wyatt is inRussia?”
She bit her lower lip. “A hockey tournament.”
“Slash secret mission,” Reuben said, shaking his head.
She looked away. “If he gets hurt, that will be my fault too.”
“And there we are, back in the cave.”
She looked at him, and he raised an eyebrow. He had inherited their father’s dark hair, his solemn, steady demeanor, and sometimes he reminded her so much of Orrin Marshall it turned her inside out.
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. Sometimes, I think you never left that cave you and Ford were trapped in when you were twelve. You always blamed yourself for the fact that he didn’t go for help.”
“I begged him not to. I was scared to be left alone, and because of it, we nearly died.”
“You and Ford are like two sides of the same coin. He always blamed himself for not having the courage to leave.”
She shook her head, but Reuben got up and sat down next to her on the sofa. Put one of his big arms around her and pulled her to his chest. He was warm and safe, and she just wanted to sink into his embrace and let him tell her that everything would be all right.
While she sobbed in his arms.
But superspies didn’t cry either.
“Sydney Bristow always knows exactly what to do. But not me. I ran to Russia, thinking I was brave and smart and…”
“And now you’re having nightmares.”
She closed her eyes.
“I understand getting in over your head. I once thought Gilly had died in a fire and I just…I lost it. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t move. I completely fell apart.”
She had a hard time imagining that. “I guess I realized that I’m not who I thought I was. I planned to come home, dig up evidence, save the world. Instead, I can’t sleep, all I do is eat Doritos and bake sweets and I jump at every noise I hear. I’m not me. I don’t know who I am. Or what I’m supposed to do.”