Page 60 of Off the Clock
So I lied.
“I’m fine. Just another call, right? Live to chase another day.”
Rather than accepting my answer like I’d hoped, Sean made a skeptical noise. “It’s okay to be rattled.”
“I’ll survive.” I shrugged, looking away before toweling off. I pulled on my street clothes with jerky movements.
“Hey, we’re still friends, right?” Sean moved to the bench closest to my locker.
“You’ve been acting captain all summer,” I reminded him with a pointed look. “You haven’t accepted it yet, but you’re likely our captain going forward, Sean.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be honest with me.” He offered a laughably earnest look. I snorted, and his expression fell.“Look, I’ve been asking myself all week if I messed up by warning you off…you know.”
“The fact we can’t mentionyou knowby name would say you didn’t. It just is what it is. Don’t beat yourself up for doing your job as captain.”
“The thing is, I’m more than a job. It’s one of the reasons I’m not crazy about being captain. I don’t like being distanced from my fellow crew members, many of whom I consider family as much as friends.”
“And you look out for those friends. I get it. You were looking out for me andyou know.Now, can we drop it?”
“I’m also a dad,” Sean continued conversationally, and I wasn’t sure whether he was changing the subject. “Declan has an upcoming race near Seattle. He texted me earlier inviting me to come up.”
“That’s nice.” I had no idea how I was supposed to reply.
“But the invitation wasn’t clear whether he wanted or expected me to bring Denver.”
“Ah.” I made a noise like I might understand. “You’re afraid of things being weird?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to make things awkward for anyone, but I can’t explain how happy I am with Denver. Of course I want to bring him, and I want my kids to love him.”
“He’s a good guy. Give your kids time to see that.”
“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Denver and I have a good thing going, something that feels permanent, and we’re not going anywhere, regardless.”
“So you’re more okay if he sits this one race out? Maybe going alone is the right call.”
“No.” Sean made a frustrated noise. “That’s not my point at all. I’m trying to say that some things are important enough that it’s absolutely worth enduring short-term awkwardness. Denver is an important part of my life. So are my kids. And yeah, thingsmight be weird at the race, but the future I want for all of us is worth figuring out how to overcome that.”
“So you’ll take Denver. It will work out.” I hoped I wasn’t lying, but from all accounts, Sean had a decent relationship with his adult kids.
“I think I’m still not making my point.” Sean held up his hands. “Some things in life are worth fighting for. Somepeoplein life. And I’m hoping I didn’t screw up something that kind of real and wonderful for you as opposed to something strictly casual.”
“That makes two of us,” I groaned.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Captain Murphy.”
“Oh yeah. Right. Captain. Damn, I hate being in charge sometimes.”
“You’re a good captain.” I patted his meaty shoulder as I stood. “And a good friend. For what it’s worth, I hope you take the captain job permanently because we need bosses who care as much as you do.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” Sean looked down at the tiled locker room floor. “And…uh…good luck.”
“I’ll take it.”
Already composing and rejecting various texts to Tony in my head, I made it home, only for Scotty to meet me at the door.
“I waited to walk with you, but we’re gonna be late for the football team parent-guardian meeting.”