Page 61 of Falling With You

He looked at me then and barked out a laugh.

“Jesus Christ, there’s so much wrong with me that it really could have been about just about anything. No, I’m really over my mom. I promise. I’ve been over her for a while now. Dillon and Cameron and Brendon and I are just fine. It really has nothing to do with them. No, it has more to do with me.” And then he looked at me and told me about Allison. Told me about the baby. About why they’d broken up. About it all.

And I just sat there, shaking.

He didn’t cry, not a single tear, but I cried. I cried for everything.

I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to do. So, I cupped his face and lowered my forehead to his. “Aiden.”

“I know. Sucks right?” He let out a laugh, and I heard the pain there, the rage. “I don’t know what to think. Because it’s just too much. It could’ve been why. It seriously could’ve been why.” He let out a breath. “But what was I supposed to tell everyone? That I thought maybe I knew why Allison killed herself?”

“You don’t know that. We don’t know anything.”

“I know that we lost a baby and we didn’t talk about it.”

“We can talk about it now if you want.” I paused. “Unless you don’t want to. I don’t want to pry, even though I’m already prying.”

Aiden let out a breath again and then looked at me. “I always used to be able to talk to you, Sienna. And even when we fight now, I talk to you. So, it’s not that. It’s never been that. I knew it was going to be complicated, it’s always complicated when it comes to old friends. It just threw me for a loop. Seeing the sonogram, having it all come back to me. I just don’t know.”

“Her parents know now. So that’s something.” I paused. “And I think you need to tell your brothers. And maybe the girls, too.”

“I do. And we will. I just need some time to myself with it.”

I nodded and tried to move off his lap. “Aiden, I can go.”

“I meant with you. You know. You know pretty much everything about me now. I don’t want you to go.” He swallowed hard, and I watched the long lines of his throat work. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

And that was when I fell in love with Aiden Connolly.

Because he asked for help. A man that never did.

I loved him, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

So, I just held him and let the tears fall as I thought about my friend who was no longer with us. Thought about everything the two of them had gone through. And then I cried a little bit more about what might happen in the future, and at thoughts of how we would figure out this new normal.

But we would. I had to have faith.

Because without faith in that, I wasn’t sure I’d have faith in anything.

Chapter Fourteen

Sometimes I wish it had been me. But I love her, so I forget that wish. I have to

-Sienna, age 17

Sienna

I rolledmy shoulders back and smiled at Jefferson. He smiled back, his eyes bright and practically bouncing. Today was one of the good days with Jefferson, so I had to count that as a win. Considering that we hadn’t had as many good days as bad days when it came to the former quarterback’s therapy for the past month or so, I figured today was going to be a good day all around.

“Okay, you’re doing good today. You want to work on the next set?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips so I could take a look around the room to make sure that we had everything prepared. I was still a little off from everything happening all at once, but I was doing better. At least I was able to mask my emotions and exactly what I was thinking from my clients. They didn’t need to know that I was still a little shaky from the attack, even though my bruises had long since faded, and I felt physically fine.

They didn’t need to know that just thinking Allison’s name made me tear up. And now it made me think of Aiden and everything they had lost together.

It hurt to think of everything he had gone through, and how he’d had to hide it because it was so personal between him and Allison. And then losing Allison on top of it all?

No wonder he was angry all the time and constantly pushed others away.

No wonder we always got on each other’s nerves, because honestly, we were so much alike sometimes it wasn’t even funny.