Page 13 of Shameless With Him

Chapter 3

Zoey

“I’m getting married!”

I just grinned, shaking my head as I sat down on the familiar couch in my parents’ home. My sister danced in the middle of the living room, careful not to bump into the coffee table. My mother beamed at her. My little sister was getting married. Finally, in her estimation.

My mother had probably wished…no, there was no probably about it, my mother had wished that I would be the first one to get married. Or at least engaged. Or maybe be in a serious relationship. After all, I was the older sister. That was how things were supposed to go. Only that’s not how life worked. I did have a plan, however. At least, an endgame. I needed to come up with the rest of the scheme.

“I’m so happy, I can’t even stand it,” Mom said before she stood up and took Lacey’s hands into her own. The two looked at each other, their eyes bright and a little teary before they bent slightly, resting their foreheads together. “My little baby’s getting married. You’re going to be such a beautiful bride, Lacey. Such a beautiful bride.”

I swallowed hard and stood up, walking around the coffee table so I could join in. It wasn’t that they forgot I was there, it was more like it had always been the two of them against the world. And, honestly, I’d never been the least bit jealous about that. How could I be when Lacey had been through so much?

My mother and Lacey had spent countless hours together in the emergency room, in the hospital, in the bathroom with Lacey puking her guts out, and my mother had practically slept in Lacey’s room, cuddling her baby daughter when my sister was going through treatments.

The two had bonded in a way that I would never be able to do with either of them. And I would never begrudge them for that. Because I didn’t know what it felt like to look at my own mortality, especially at that young an age, and wonder if I was going to wake up the next day. I didn’t know what it was like to think that I could possibly outlive my daughter.

So, no, I never envied the fact that the two of them had their special bond. One I didn’t share with even my father. Even though I still sometimes liked to consider myself a Daddy’s girl, I didn’t have that special bond with him either—and neither of us felt the lack. However, I did want to be part of Lacey and Mom’s moment, if only for a bit. Because, after all, my little sister, the one I had been so afraid I would lose multiple times in my life, was getting married.

“You are going to be an amazing bride,” I said, coming up to put my hands on each of their backs. They looked at me then, their eyes wide, tears trickling down their cheeks.

“I can’t wait. John is such an amazing man. And he’s all mine.”

I smiled, shaking my head. John Yi was a wonderful man—one I didn’t really know all that well because he was a cardiologist and worked long hours. He rarely came to the same family dinners I attended. My mother knew him, and my dad really liked him. And because of all of that, I was all there for this wedding. And I knew from the bit that I had gotten to know him, that he loved my baby sister with every ounce of his soul. What more could I ask for in a future brother-in-law?

“He’s going to make you very happy, just as I know you’re going to make yourself very happy,” I added.

Lacey rolled her eyes and pulled away so she could do a little butt wiggle again before turning towards me. “Oh, stop it. I’m not like you. I want to get married and have babies and have a wonderful life.” Lacey swallowed hard, and I wanted to reach out and hug her. Only I didn’t, because she wouldn’t want that. “And I know that having babies naturally is probably not in the cards for me, but I’m fine,” she added.

My mother opened her mouth to speak when Lacey quickly shook her head. “No. I’ve already gone through that mourning stage in my life. John and I are already looking into adoption, and possibly talking about surrogacy.” She glanced at me hopefully, and I held up my hands.

“Whoa there, let’s do the wedding first. And then maybe we can talk about my uterus.”

She just rolled her eyes at me, and I held back a shudder. I would do many things for my sister, and if she and John asked, I might actually do that. Only that was a long way off, and I needed to get through the idea of it first. And then there was the whole pregnancy thing… I really did not want to go through pregnancy. Not that it wasn’t beautiful and wonderful for many women. I just never really thought that was my thing. It changed your body, it changed your life, and it was a huge hormonal and emotional burden. And with surrogacy, you didn’t get the baby in the end. She hadn’t even asked yet, and I was overthinking things for no reason. After all, John had three sisters, three wonderful siblings, two of whom already had children of their own. We knew their uteruses worked just fine.

I really needed to stop digging myself into a mental hole.

“Okay, so, where do we start?” I asked, and both my mother and my sister looked at each other before they burst out laughing.

“Oh, honey, we’ve already started.” Mother reached down and picked up the very large binder with the tablet resting on top.

“I thought that was like a baby book,” I said, frowning.

“No, no, no, this is The Wedding Book.” She said the words as if they were all capitalized, and there should be angels singing.

I frowned.

“The wedding book? Wait, didn’t you have one like that when you were younger and used to play with it while you were in the hospital bed?”

My mother winced while Lacey nodded. Mom didn’t like to talk about that time. Mostly because, every time she did, everyone got super sad and started thinking about cancer again. Lacey didn’t have a problem with saying the C-word, and neither did I. Mom was another story, so we were both careful around her.

“It’s not the exact same wedding book because, you know, I’m not six anymore. Though it is where it all began.” We laughed. “We really have been planning this wedding for my entire life.” Lacey shrugged. “I didn’t know if I’d ever have a wedding. Or if I’d have a prom or learn to drive or do any of that. So, I wanted to live with the idea that I could. With sparkly dresses and flowers galore. I wanted twinkle lights and a band, and I wanted my dad to dance with me and give me away. I wanted all of that. So, Mom and I made The Wedding Book. It’s not going to be the same incarnation by the time we’re done. However, I love the fact that I actually get to do this.” She took a shaky breath. “It’s not just a dream anymore.”

I discreetly wiped at a tear as my mother blew her nose into a tissue. It had been over ten years since the last scare, and every day felt like borrowed time, even if Lacey was completely healthy. The damage that chemo and radiation and countless medical tests did to one’s body changed everything. I was going to do anything my little sister asked, even if I had a feeling from the way that my mother and Lacey kept looking at each other, the word Bridezilla might be uttered. More than once.

“Okay. So, apparently, the question of where do we start has already been answered. How about where do I start?”

Lacey bounced on her toes and came over to me, her arms outstretched. I hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. She was only a couple of inches shorter than I was. However, I was wearing heels, while Lacey was barefoot like a little pixie.