Page 74 of Embraced in Ink
“It’s a long story,” she said honestly.
Madison nodded. “They usually are. But we’re here. Promise.”
Bristol let out a breath. “Marcus and I made a plan when I turned twenty that ten years from then, on my thirtieth birthday, if neither of us was married, we’d marry each other.”
The faces on the women that she adored were comical at best. Wide eyes, mouths agape, and a lot of blinking.
Well, she shouldn’t have been surprised.
“Really?” Madison asked. “I would have said that’s brilliant, but oh God, I’m sorry, Bristol.”
“Yeah, I thought it was a brilliant idea, too,” she said honestly. “I thought we were making it work. And so, we decided somehow to be engaged but start dating at the same time. We didn’t really talk about it, and that was the problem. And now, Marcus doesn’t really know how I feel about him, and I don’t know what I feel about him truly because I won’t let myself actually feel anything, and…here we are.” She explained in more detail about everything that had happened, and the girls listened, nodding along, holding her hands, rubbing her back.
The tears fell again, but there was nothing she could do about that. She was just going to look like death for a while now.
The four of them sat in her living room and talked about nothing. She didn’t honestly think any of them would have answers for her, other than that it took time, and maybe this wasn’t the end.
“You have to talk to him,” Arden said honestly.
Bristol nodded. “I know I do. I don’t want him to hate me.” She laughed, even though it was a little watery. “Which is the most self-centered thing ever because he doesn’t know how I feel about him, and that’s horrible. We need to talk, and we need to figure this out. Because even if we don’t go through with the engagement, I can’t lose him.”
“You guys have a foundation that is solid and steady, you may be a little shaky right now, but that comes from lack of communication.” Holland leaned forward and squeezed her hands. “I’m in a relationship with two men. There are multiple relationships within our triad. Communication is the only way we make it work. So, you have to do the same with Marcus. I know it’s scary because you don’t know what he’s going to think, what he’s going to say. But that’s part of being in a relationship. You don’t know, and you have to put yourself out there so you can find out. It’s so scary, but you are one of the strongest people I know, Bristol. You can do this.”
Bristol wiped her face. “Well, you guys sure do believe in me more than I believe in myself.”
“And that’s the case for most people,” Madison said. She shrugged when everyone looked at her. “I pretty much have no self-esteem, but I can tell you that I’m working on it. And I hope you are, too. Now, breathe, and know that this is going to suck for a little while, but you guys are going to figure this out. You need to talk to him.”
“I know. It’s stupid that we aren’t. It’s ridiculous. But I thought it was working. I was wrong.”
“It was working, we all saw it,” Arden said, her voice soft. “However, in order for it to continue working, you need that pesky little thing called communication.”
“I know,” Bristol said, and the four of them talked some more before they all had to go off to their respective jobs and lives, leaving Bristol alone again. But not without hugs first, and threats of moving in if Bristol didn’t get herself together and start living again. These women loved her, and she loved them right back. Even Madison, who was new to her life, but had already taken a strong hold on her heart.
The same heart that was shaky at the moment because she didn’t know what was going to happen with Marcus. But she needed to figure it out.
She had to.
Bristol went through the motions of washing her face then applying a little concealer and mascara once more. No one was going to look at her, but she needed that for herself. Armor so she could formulate a plan in words for Marcus. Because she was going to fight for him, she was going to say the things that she hadn’t said before. And to do that, she needed a detailed list and a plan.
That might sound silly to anyone else, but it worked for her. And others would have to deal with it.
She thought about going back to her studio, working in there, but, instead, she brought out her notebook and started to make that list.
The doorbell rang, and she frowned. She didn’t think it was one of the girls again, but maybe it was one of her brothers. After all, she meddled in their lives enough. It was only right that they do the same for her.
Bristol made her way to the door, looked out the peephole, and froze.
Hell. She had hoped it would be Marcus. Anyone other than who was on the other side of the door. She could ignore it. Keep the door locked and not open it at all. However, that would only be hiding from some of her problems. And she couldn’t hide from Colin forever, not when she had to make sure that he got it through his head that he wasn’t allowed to touch her like that again. And frankly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to work with him in the future. Not only because he sometimes didn’t understand boundaries, but also because every time she worked with him going forward, she would think of the look on Marcus’s face. And she never wanted to think of that look again.
She opened the door but kept it cracked only a little so she could look at him.
“Colin, it’s really not a good time. You should have called ahead.”
“I’m here to check on you. You weren’t answering your phone.”
For a reason, but she didn’t say that. After all, she hadn’t been answering her phone for anybody.
“I’m busy, Colin. I’m sorry. I’ll have to talk to you later.”