Page 85 of Embraced in Ink
Getting over that was going to take time, and probably a lot of therapy. But first, there was Marcus and her, the only steady thing she’d ever had in her life, and she had to fight to keep it.
“Come closer, really,” she whispered.
And then Marcus was there, sitting on the coffee table in front of her, looking at her. He didn’t reach out, didn’t touch her, and the distance left her feeling bereft.
“I missed you,” she whispered, finally being honest with herself. With him.
“I miss you so fucking much. I shouldn’t have walked out that day, shouldn’t have walked out ever.”
“No, you don’t get to blame yourself for what happened.”
His brows rose. “I might, a little bit. Mostly because I can’t hurt Colin.”
“He’s gone. We never have to worry about him again. I promise.”
“I need to be the one making the promises,” Marcus whispered, leaning forward.
“Maybe, or maybe we need to make them together.”
Marcus let out a breath and rubbed his hand over his face.
“I guess we should start at the beginning?” he asked, and Bristol nodded.
“I’m going to tell you exactly how I feel,” Marcus said. “Something I should’ve done a long fucking time ago. Because I didn’t, I hurt us both.”
“I’m going to say the same. So much the fucking same. Because it’s not just you.”
“Yeah? Are you sure you’re up to this? I don’t want to put too much strain on you.”
“I promise, I’m not frail. I’m not going to break.” A tear slid down her cheek, and Marcus reached out and rubbed it away with his thumb. “I’m not going to break,” she whispered again.
“When you came up with that deal ten years ago, I thought it was insane, but I said yes right away. Do you know why?” Marcus asked, and she swallowed hard.
“Why?”
“Because I couldn’t think of a world without you in it with me. You were always there, and we both did so good about not crossing those lines. I never crossed those boundaries because I didn’t want to scare you away, and I didn’t want to lose you. So, I figured if I had you in my life in any way possible, it would be good enough. And I didn’t let myself worry about my feelings, I buried them so deep that theycouldn’tmatter. But they were always there. Hiding. Waiting.”
Hope sprang up in her chest, and she blinked hard. “Really?”
“Bristol, I fucking love you. And not only as friends, though yes, that’s part of it. I’m going to love you as a friend and as a person and just the amazing human being that you are for always. But I’m also in love with you. I don’t know when I fell, probably long before I allowed myself to even think about it. But I fucking love you. And I don’t want to lose you. Ever. Fucking ever. Do you get that? You are my everything. And I should have told you long before I walked out. But I was so fucking scared that I didn’t let myself think. I left because I didn’t want to hurt you, and I ended up hurting you more than I ever thought possible. Forgive me. Forgive me for not telling you how I felt because I was scared. Forgive me for not telling you that I love you.”
Tears were freely falling down her cheeks at that point, and she leaned forward enough that she wasn’t hurting. Marcus closed the few inches still separating them so she could put her hands on his face.
“I want to say ditto, but that would be way too easy on me.”
Marcus chuckled softly, and she let out a rough laugh of her own.
“I made the promise because I was so afraid of losing you, I didn’t allow myself to think about what that loss would mean. But I love you, too, Marcus. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. Though I didn’t realize it was the big L until it was too late. But I want you in my life. I want to be in yours. I want to date you, and I want to marry you. I want it all. And if we have to start from scratch and figure out exactly what we are to each other while we love each other, I’m fine with that, too. Or if you want to go to Vegas right now, or maybe once I’m actually capable of standing for longer than ten minutes, then I will do that, too. Because I love you. And I’m sorry I never said it before. I really, really should have said it before.”
Marcus looked at her then and smiled so widely that it hit her straight in the heart.
“For two people who know each other inside and out, we really fucking suck at this.”
She laughed and leaned forward as much as she could, but then he was there, kneeling in front of the couch, holding her close, his lips a bare inch from hers.
“I don’t want to be bad at this again, Bristol. So, yes, I want to marry you. I want us to be the Montgomery-Stearns and have babies and watch our families grow larger with us. I want all of that. But first, I want you to be my girlfriend, I want that label. And I want you to be my fiancée. I want that label, too. And then I want you to be my wife. Because, throughout it all, you’re my best friend, Bristol Montgomery. And I will love you until the end of time. Until the end of everything.”
And then his lips were on hers, and Bristol was crying, leaning into the man she loved, the man she had always loved.