Page 41 of Forever Only Once

Chapter 9

Hazel

I stoodat the front door, my heart racing, but not out of fear. Mostly anxiety. Though considering that I felt like anxiety wearing a cardigan most days, this shouldn’t be any different. I just really didn’t want to ring the doorbell or knock. I did not want to go inside.

And then a voice came from the intercom on the doorbell. The fact that I had forgotten she had a video doorbell, told me my anxiety had reached a new level.

“Are you just going to stand here on Dakota’s porch for the rest of the day? You should just come in. We unlocked the door for you.”

I crossed my eyes at Paris’s tone. “It’s not safe to leave your door unlocked,” I said, a little fear in my voice.

“We unlocked it when we saw you coming up. However, we will come out there if we have to.”

The door opened on Paris’s words, and I looked at Dakota, who just shook her head, a smile playing on her face.

“Paris and Joshua stole my phone, so I apologize for the way she answered.” Dakota opened her arms, and I went into the offered hug, leaning in to the woman’s hold. Dakota was quieter than the rest of us, probably because she had a six-year-old boy living with her, and because she was continually having to deal with noise—as well as being a mom. Since Paris was the loudest of us, it only meant that Dakota could finally rest. Or maybe I was thinking too hard.

“Thanks for having me over for brunch,” I said, actually meaning it. I might be having a nervous breakdown for a variety of reasons, but I needed my girls. And brunch. “My hands were full, by the way, so I wouldn’t have been able to turn the doorknob easily,” I said honestly, and Dakota grinned, looking down at the plate in my hands.

“Oh, you made your little apple tartlette thingies,” she said, taking the tray from me. “I love these so much.”

“I was trading them for your goodies, and they aren’t that hard to make because I cheated this time.”

I winced, and Dakota just laughed. “I’m a mom, I often cheat when it comes to saving time while making dinner or any type of food,” she said. “Store-bought pastry? It still looks amazing.”

“Yes, but now I feel bad.” Dakota always made hers from scratch.

“You were not going to make puff pastry from scratch for us,” Myra said. “Not during this part of the semester anyway. And I hear you were out late with a certain sexy, bearded man,” Myra said, leaning forward to kiss me on the cheek. It was an air kiss, the type we had done forever, and we both froze before laughing. It was part of our old lives, the ones where we did brunch and champagne and pretended that we liked the rest of the people we were with. She shook her head and then hugged me tightly. I hugged her back, not caring that if we had been wearing silk or pressed linen like the old days, it would have left wrinkles. Or God forbid, actually embraced each other in public like we liked one another.

“I love when you guys are all awkward about the fact that you knew each other when you were old money,” Paris said, drawing out the words so it sounded like she was a fake British person.

“Sometimes those things are just ingrained in you. I found myself drinking a mug of coffee with my pinky out the other day. A mug,” Myra said, and I laughed.

“I know, how shocking. But we’ll do better.”

“Exactly. I will get you to drink beer out of the bottle one day,” Dakota said, shaking her head as Joshua came running up, his hands in the air.

“Aunt Hazel! You’re here!”

Joshua was six, and at the point where he only spoke in exclamation points. He did not calm down unless he was doing homework, and then he grumbled. However, he was just starting some math classes, and that was my favorite part. Dakota could teach him on her own, considering she was brilliant, owned her own business, and used to do all of her own accounting until recently. However, she let me pretend that I was truly needed for Joshua, and I sometimes got to help him with his schoolwork.

She was the only one of our group with a child, so we were all honorary aunts, even if I was pretty sure that none of us knew what we were doing in that regard.

Dakota was the brilliant one among us where that was concerned. We were all just flailing about, hoping we knew how to make our way.

“Hey there,” I said, kneeling so I could hug him tightly. I didn’t have to crouch as far down as I used to. The little boy was getting bigger and bigger with each passing day. A little clutch found its way into my belly, and I looked at Dakota, who seemed to know exactly what I was talking about.

“He just moved into a new size of clothing,” Dakota said, her mouth dry. “I mean, soon, he’s going to be taller than all of us.”

“No, I’m not, Mom. You guys are always going to be bigger than me. Because you’re the mom. And the aunts. I’m just a kid,” he said, a long-suffering sigh in his voice.

I ran my hands through his hair, messing it up just a bit, and he kissed me on the cheek, smelling like little boy and apples. He must have just had his allotted amount of apple juice for the day. He loved the stuff, but there was so much sugar in it, even if Dakota found the healthiest version of it, he still wasn’t allowed as much as he wanted. Considering that I wanted to bury myself in apple tarts, I felt for the kid.

“I’m so glad that I got to see you today,” I said.

“I’m glad that you’re here, too,” he said solemnly and then went to the other women, skipping around, showing them his toys. After, he went back to the book sitting on the couch and proceeded to read to himself in quiet.

“I’m exhausted,” Paris said, and I laughed.