Page 52 of Forever Only Once

I smiled, knowing he was right. He was doing all the right things. That should worry me, but it didn’t.

“Please come in, Cross.”

And then he did.

I closed the door behind him, locking it securely, and then I let out a deep breath as I turned to him. I placed my palms on the door and leaned back, trying to breathe. I inhaled that woodsy scent of his and my toes curled. I loved it.

“So. This is my home.”

Awkward, much?

It was probably larger than I needed, but it wasn’t a McMansion or anything like that. However, because I sometimes had trouble leaving the house after everything that had happened with Thomas, I’d wanted an easily defensible place that was mine. Somewhere I wouldn’t feel claustrophobic in if I didn’t leave for days.

That was probably a weird thing to think, but they were my thoughts, so I went with it.

“It’s nice.” He let out a breath. “Hell, it’s beautiful. Sorry, I told you before I wasn’t good at this. Now, here we are, alone in your house. I know this is a momentous occasion, but all I want to do is kiss you.”

I let out a breath. “Then let’s not think about the momentous occasion part. Let’s not make this anything but normal. And why don’t you kiss me?”

He raised a brow.

“Really?”

“Yes. Kiss me. And let’s pretend everything is normal.”

Cross let out a little laugh that wasn’t entirely full of humor. “I don’t think either one of us is normal. However, it is you and me. You tell me what you want.”

“I don’t know what I want, not in the grand scheme of things. But I do know I want you to kiss me now.” I wanted to feel. I wanted to just be.

Cross took a step forward and slowly traced his finger along the line of my jaw. I leaned into him, resisting the urge to close my eyes. I wanted to watch him, to see every movement. And not because of fear. Because I wanted to soak in every single moment of time that I had with him.

I had found myself over time. The real me. I had figured out who I needed to be as I grew and healed.

Cross wasn’t healing me. I had done that myself.

But now, I was finding who I could be when I wasn’t alone. When I wasn’t relying on just my strength.

I could imagine myself with someone else and not just in the vastness of my aching heart, in my soul, and its depth of loneliness.

But I didn’t have to worry about any of that.

I could have him.

Finally. “Be sure.”

In answer, I went up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his.

Luckily, he had lowered his head so I could do it easily, and I kept my eyes open, slowly parting my lips so I could kiss him deeper.

He grinned against my mouth and then slid his hand into my hair, tugging it ever so slightly.

Thomas had done that once and had pulled me across the floor, but this was different. I only had a vague memory of the pain of the past, and it didn’t matter now.

Because I wasn’t that person.

And Cross wasn’t that man.

Instead, it was just him and me, and this feeling, this sensation.