Page 69 of From That Moment
“I know. I’m fine. They only broke a couple of bones. They got good at that. They didn’t want child services to come. They didn’t want to go to jail.” I took another breath before continuing.
“Then they went after Tracey.”
“Jesus,” he whispered.
“Pretty much. When Tracey got old enough, Daddy started hitting her, too. And when I tried to protect her, he hit me harder. And then Mom would hold me back, so he could keep going at Tracey.” I shook my head at Prior’s questioning look. “They never touched us like that. Ever. That wasn’t something on their radar. Although a couple of the guests of my parents’ orgies gave us weird looks, Mom protected us from that.” I let out a rough chuckle. “At least, she tried. Then she distracted them and pretty much had whoever she wanted on the couch and in her bed. One night, though, it was my birthday, and I came home from school with a present. It was a little candy bracelet, something that a friend gave me. It was so cheap that the candy probably would have made me sick if I’d had a chance to eat it.”
After a minute, I didn’t say anything, and Prior leaned forward and brushed my hair from my face. I leaned into his touch, inhaling his scent, and just…breathing.
I wasn’t back in that trailer. I could do this.
“Dad called me a whore, snapped the candy right off my wrist, and then hit me with it. And then he choked me before he kept hitting and hitting and hitting.”
Tracey was there, and she was so sad because it was my birthday, and they usually never hit me on my birthday. It was a weird thing, but it was like a present not to be hurt. I almost forgot about that, but they never did that.” I shook my head when he opened his mouth to speak. There wasn’t anything to say. “Daddy looked up, so furious that Tracey would say anything, and he backhanded her so hard she cracked her head on the cheap Formica counter and fell to the ground. There was blood everywhere, all over the floor, all over the wall, all over me. She wasn’t dead, not yet. She was still moaning, and Mom was screaming, thrashing Tracey’s shoulders down to the ground, screaming that she wanted her to wake up. It was only making it worse. And then Daddy hit me again, so hard that I didn’t wake up for a minute or two, and then I came to and heard crying, and I thought it was Tracey, her little voice. But it was only in my dreams. They were holding her body, blood covering them both, and she was dead.”
Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I hadn’t even realized it. Prior picked me up, the strength in his arms surprising me, and then I was on his lap, and he was holding me, sliding his hands down my back and through my hair, just holding me.
When was the last time I had been held like this when thinking those thoughts? My friends had done it, but a man had never held me like this.
And I didn’t know what to make of it.
“Apparently, we had made enough noise that the neighbors in the trailer next door called the cops. They gave Dad manslaughter, Mom a lesser charge. They leveled them both with a bunch of other charges that I don’t even want to get into, but it was enough that they were in jail for a long time. Somehow, though, enough time has passed. They both got out. So, when you and I were at that Greek Mediterranean place? That was the call from the detective, saying that Dad had gotten out.”
“He’s out right now?” The anger in Prior’s voice calmed me somehow.
“Yes, Mom’s been out for a couple of years now. They’re not here. The detective said that they’re keeping an eye on everything and will let me know if anything changes. I’m still afraid he’s going to show up one day, though, you know? Or Mom will. But mostly Dad because he’s the one who hit me the most. Mom just let it happen.”
“And you think the attack...” he asked, not even finishing his sentence.
I shrugged. “I told the local police about it. And they got in contact with the old detective on the case. We don’t know. There’s no evidence, even though I fought back. So, they’re still trying to figure out who it could have been. Because both of my parents, if I even want to use that term, have alibis.”
“I don’t know what to say. Other than, I’m sorry. And I want to hurt them for daring to touch you, and for taking such a light from this world. I also don’t want to get too violent and scary.”
“I want to murder them. Slowly. I want to hear their screams. I want them to pay for an eternity for what they’ve done. So, you getting violent with them? That’s not going to trigger me. It might trigger other people, but for me? I just get angry. So, we can both dream of different ways to end my parents for what they did to Tracey. There’s nothing else I can do right now.”
“And what they did to you, baby. I could hurt them for that alone.”
“You’re right. I just…anyway, that’s my big secret. And I have nightmares sometimes, and I see a therapist. And I’m trying to deal with it, but sometimes I wake up, and I scream, and I thrash out. And it sucks.”
“That time you had a mark on your neck at work?”
“I didn’t even know you saw that,” I said, my eyes wide.
“I noticed a lot of things about you Paris. Probably before I should have.”
He shrugged, and I blushed.
“That was a dream. I woke up screaming, but I got through it. If you ever spend the night here, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that I might wake up screaming.
“I’m going to stay the night tonight if you’ll let me,” he said, his voice low. “I’m just going to hold you. I think that’s what we both need, nothing else, but I’m going to hold you. And then if you wake up, I’ll still hold you. To be honest, I have nightmares about Arden dying, about me not being able to do anything for her when she gets flareups. I have nightmares about seeing both my brothers in the hospital. I have stress dreams where I can’t finish my homework for classes I didn’t realize I was taking,” he added, and I laughed. “I have a lot of nightmares, and sometimes, I talk in my sleep when I’m stressed out. I don’t sleep with women often.” He frowned. “I have sex, but I don’t sleep over, and they don’t sleep over usually.”
“Tonight?” I asked.
“Tonight…tonight, I’m going to hold you.”
And he did. We finished our cooling coffee and then got ready for bed, him in his boxers, me in an old T-shirt and shorts, the least sexy thing I owned. I leaned into him, falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat beneath my ear.
I didn’t have a nightmare.