Page 86 of Seduced in Ink

“What?” she breathed.

“We didn’t fucking talk about how I felt. How we felt. What the hell were we thinking?”

“It’s hard to open up to people.”

“I know. And when I read about those couples in books that don’t talk about what they’re feeling, I scream at them and tug at my hair, begging them to just say what’s on their minds. And then I realized it’s hard. To open yourself up like that? It’s fucking hard. To tell somebody what you feel, knowing that they may not feel the same and could hurt you with just a word.”

“I know,” she said, her heart beating fast in her ears. She didn’t know where he was going with this, but she knew if he didn’t get to the point quickly, she would either thrash him or profess her love.

Oh God, how did she get into this situation?

She looked at Aaron Montgomery and suddenly knew that she had fallen in love with him the second he announced that he was her fiancé.

In that moment of panic and confusion, she had fallen hard for him. And she hadn’t even realized it.

“Then why did you push me away?” she asked, whispering the words.

“I thought you needed time with your mom. Honestly, that was the main part.” He ran his hands through his hair, and she wanted to do the same. Wanted to reach out and touch him. But she didn’t. She couldn’t invite the hurt again. Not until they spoke.

“And I was so afraid that if you realized the charade didn’t need to continue, you would walk away first. That you would figure out that I didn’t need to be your fake fiancé anymore, and we would move on and just continue being friends. I didn’t want that, so I pushed you away first. I‘m so fucking sorry.“

Madison blinked, surprised that he was so honest, and yet she shouldn’t have been.

“Aaron. You didn’t need to push me away. Although I think I’m glad you did.”

He blinked. “Really?”

“You’re right. It did give me time to talk with my parents and figure out that relationship and just breathe. But I also think if you and I had been able to do it together, I wouldn’t be feeling like this now.”

“And how do you feel?”

“I’m so angry!” She hadn’t meant to say the words, let alone as vehemently as she had, but now that they were out, she couldn’t stop them. “I’m angry that my mother put me in this situation. I’m angry that Guy did what he did. I’m angry that I didn’t have any control over that. I’m devastated as well as angry that you let me walk away and forced me to do so. And I’m so pissed off that I was the one who walked away. And that I listened. I know it had to do with the shock and just wanting to make sure that my mother was okay after the concussion and everything, but I walked away when you told me to. After doing everything I did to ensure that others knew I could make my own decisions and choices, I followed your lead. I can’t believe I did that.”

Aaron shook his head and took a step forward. When his hands were on her face, he rested his forehead against hers, and she took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Needing him to be close.

“I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“And I shouldn’t have listened.”

“Now what?” she whispered.

“Now, you’re going to listen. I hope you believe me when I tell you that I’m so fucking sorry. And when I tell you exactly how I feel.”

“And how do you feel?” she asked, her breath hitching.

“I love you so much, Madison. I don’t know when it started, but now, I don’t remember a time when you weren’t part of my life. Or that I didn’t want you to be there. You make me so happy. You make me want to create. You make me want to be a better person. And I walked away, and I shouldn’t have. You might’ve been the one to turn, but I forced it. I walked away long before you did.”

Tears filled her eyes. When he wiped them away with his thumbs, she hiccupped a little sob. “I love you, too. I was so afraid that you weren’t going to love me back, so I hid it. I put everything into just being you and me and pretending that we made sense and weren’t making terrible decisions. Because of that, I didn’t let myself desire anything more. But I do. I want it all.”

Aaron kissed her then, and she let out a breath, sinking into him, craving his taste. She felt like she was finally home.

“Please forgive me,” he whispered. “Forgive me for being an asshole and for taking the decision from your hands. For hurting you. Forgive me.”

She pulled away from him slightly and then wiped the tears from his face. “Of course, I do. Though you have to be the one who forgivesmefor walking away.”

“We’re starting from scratch. You and me.”

“I don’t think we can go back that far,” she said honestly, smiling through her tears.