Page 40 of Far from Destined

“I know,” he said, though I wasn’t sure he believed me.

I wasn’t even sure I believed myself.

By the time I made sure everything was set up at the store and dealt with the authorities, I was exhausted and just wanted to see my son.

Myra was at the door when I pulled up, and she held up her hand as soon as I made my way to her. “Joshua knows nothing. He just played with paints, and we did his homework. He’s having a great day, so you can’t go in there and stress him out.”

“Myra. I need to see my son.”

“I know.”

I walked inside but froze when I noticed that Myra wasn’t alone. Nate was there, a scowl on his face as he stared at Myra. I blinked.

“Nate?”

“Didn’t want her here alone, just in case,” Nate said. He came forward, kissed the top of my head, and glanced at Myra. “I’ll head out, but you won’t be alone for long.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, but I didn’t have time to figure it out. Suddenly, I was on my knees, holding Joshua tightly as he chattered on about his day. I did my best to talk to him and act as if nothing was wrong.

“And then they said we’re going to have a class hamster, but some of the moms got upset about it because they didn’t want to have to deal with it. So maybe we’re not going to get a class pet, but I’m just really excited.”

Joshua continued to ramble, and I glanced over to see Nate and Myra whispering fiercely to each other at the door. I looked back at my son.

The hushed voices stopped, and I looked over again, knowing who would be there before I even saw him.

“Macon!” Joshua exclaimed and then ran to him.

Macon picked Joshua up like he weighed nothing and listened as my son repeated his stories about his day. Both Nate and Myra gave me tight nods before heading out, leaving me alone with Macon and Joshua. I had no idea how this had happened. My life was out of control, and I hated it.

Why couldn’t everybody just understand that I needed to control my actions? Instead, everybody just kept making decisions for me.

“Hey, buddy, why don’t you head to your room and start that tower. I’ll head in there in a minute?”

“Okay.” Joshua hugged Macon tightly, squeezed my legs as he ran by, and then headed off to his room.

“Don’t start,” Macon said.

Rage filled me, and I fisted my hands at my sides. “How can I start anything? Everybody’s making all the decisions for me. I don’t even have a say in my own life.”

Macon just shook his head. “We both know that’s not the case.”

“It sure as hell feels like it,” I whispered furiously.

“You’re scared, I get that, but we’re not taking over. You and me? We’re friends. We’re figuring things out. But when Myra called? I came. I’ll always be here if you need me. Even if we don’t figure out what the hell could be between us, I’ll be here for you. And that kid.”

Tears finally sprang to my eyes, and I put my fist over my mouth, choking back a sob.

Macon cursed under his breath and then pulled me close.

I didn’t have long to cry, Joshua could come back into the room at any moment, and I didn’t want him to see me like this. He had to see me strong. I couldn’t be weak.

“I’ve got you,” Macon whispered.

“You shouldn’t have to,” I said.

“I’ve got you,” he repeated.

I closed my eyes, letting everything inside me out for the barest of moments, knowing I shouldn’t rely on him, but that I could.