Page 107 of Under the Waves
He pinned me with a look that saidreally, Poppy? Really?
I just shrugged, grinning up at him. Jasper Ridge had brought the world to me in the form of a birthday party. It may seem like such a small, insignificant thing, but it genuinely meant the entire world and more to me. I didn’t think he realized just how much I appreciated him and everything he had done for me.
“Come with me,” he smiled as he held out his hand for me to take.
As I placed my hand in his, butterflies erupting in my stomach the second our skin touched, I asked, “What? Where?”
His golden eyes blazed, lighting my body on fire. “When I give you this gift, I want to see the real you. That reaction is all for me and no one else.”
Was it possible to burst into flames at someone’s words? Because if so, I would be a literalpuddleof lava on the floor. Jasper Ridge just kept on making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world, and it was getting harder and harder to convince myself that this was all fake.
Jasper led me through the crowd of people, keeping a tight grip on my hand as we crossed paths with people dancing on the stairs and puking over the banister. The booming noise around us faded away with every step we took towards Jasper’s room. I recognized the paintings on the walls, remembering how out ofplace they looked on that very first night Jasper led me up here, concussed and all.
With a clear head, I could finally figure out why—they were all signed by Lia’s siblings. The entire hallway was decorated with them. Finger paintings, Crayola crayon scribbles, stick figures and all. Compared to the elegant and sophisticated wall art decorating the entire house, this one hallway was covered in something much more valuable—love and friends andfamily.
“What are we doing here, Jasper?” I asked breathlessly as he guided me into the center of his room. His eyes motioned for me to stay put as he disappeared into the bathroom.
Glancing around in the few seconds he was gone, I took in his room in a way I wasn’t able to before. It was so much bigger now, for some reason. His walls were a light gray, and his room had a larger than average bed, two bedside tables resting beside it, a closet that was probably bigger than my room entirely, and a whole TV and couch set up in the corner. My fingers found the back of my neck and instinctively began scratching the already reddened skin there.
“Are your eyes closed, Wellsy?” Jasper asked from the bathroom, his voice pulling me from my own thoughts like an anchor.
“Yeah?” I quickly squeezed my eyes shut, giddy with anticipation. I never expected him to get me anything for my birthday, yet alone plan a surprise party for me. No one had ever gone out of their way to make this day special for me. No one buthim.
“Okay, open them,” he breathed. The distance between us dissipated with the way his breath fanned against my neck, drawing goosebumps across the lengths of my arms.
I cracked open my eyes to be met with a pair of golden-brown ones with huge dark pupils.
“Hi, Poppy,” he smiled softly.
A smile fell onto my own lips. “Hi, Jasper.”
“This is for you, Wellsy. I hope you like it,” he added with a wink, that soft smile turning into a smirk as he handed me a huge cardboard box that was taller than me by a good few inches. The originally white wrapping paper was covered in disfigured black ovals if he drew them on by hand to mimic the patterns on an Orca.
“Jasper,” I breathed, completely speechless as I scrunched and released my fists by my side. “I can’t—”
“Shush,” he grinned, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, head resting on my shoulder. “You can, Wellsy.” He tickled my waist, eliciting small giggles from my lips. As he stopped, I let my head fall against his, completely calmed by his touch.
Perhaps that was why he did that. Jasper Ridge just somehow knew when my anxiety started to flare up and exactly how to calm me down before I even realized what he was doing. I truly didn’t deserve him. I never would.
“Go on, Wellsy. Open it.”
As I looked down at him, searching for his approval, Jasper tickled me once more, practically shoving me forward as he did it.
“Okay,okay,” I exhaled, breathlessly. “Okay.”
For a moment, I just stood there, admiring what he had done for me. The effort he had gone through to make this day special for me. I only hesitated because the second I tore open that wrapping paper, everything he did for me would bereal. Fake boyfriends didn’t buy their fake girlfriends gifts, or throw them birthday parties, or help them through mental blocks. Nothing Jasper did ever feltfaketo me, andthatwas the reason why I shouldn’t open this gift.
Thatwas the reason I should’ve left before lines got blurred and rules got broken.
I refused to let myself see this as anything but part of the contract we shared because the minute I did, the minute I started to hope, it would be like condemning myself to heartbreak and I didn’t think I could survive having my heart shattered by him.
“Wellsy?” Jasper asked, a hint of worry tainting his voice.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, plastering on a smile, except it didn’t feel even an inch as fake as when I wasn’t around him.
“I’m okay,” I whispered before taking a loose corner of the wrapping paper and tearing it wide open. The sound of the paper shredding radiated through my body, along with the crumbling walls around my heart.
I was completely fucked.