Page 120 of Under the Waves

After what seemed like forever, Kai’s stone-cold face slippedinto a smirk, and to that, Xander grabbed Emmeline’s arm, despite her protest, and pulled her away from him as they both got lost in the crowd around us.

When they were gone, I turned to Kai. “What the hell was that all about?”

He just grinned, his eyes pinned on the trail they left through. “Fate, Cap. They just needed a littlenudge.”

I shook my head, pressing my fingers against my temple, fighting a headache. Every time I thought I knew those two, the more I got proven wrong with every passing day. It was like they were in some secret club that Lia, Jakson, and I were denied access into.

Did that make me a bad Captain?

If I had known, would I have been able to intervene just then?

The room swayed as I lost my balance, crashing into a random girl who was dancing like she hadn’t a care in the world with her friends.

“What the fuck!” she whined, “you just split my drink all over my new dress!”

“Sorry,” I muttered as I tried to stabilize myself.

Please not now.

Please not now.

Please not now.

My whole body started shaking as I regained my balance, my chest rising and falling quicker than the beat of a drum.

No. No. No.

“Cap, you okay?” Kai’s voice drifted through the distance, but it was like it couldn’t reach me.Nobody could.

Without thinking, I pushed my way through the crowd, making a headline straight to the bathroom. By the time I got there, my hands were sweating so much I couldn’t even grip onto the handle. After a few attempts, I finally yanked it open and slammed it closed. My legs wasted no time before giving out on me, my knees buckling as my back hit the wall of the door. The raging noise of the party was silenced by my own damning thoughts–my stupid, cancerous thoughts that were eating away at every available inch of me.

It’ll pass. It’ll pass. It’ll pass.

I chanted the words over and over again inside my head, imagining Poppy was here saying them to me with that soothingvoice of hers. I imagined I could hear her heartbeat, that steady rhythm.

What was it that she did?

That breathing exercise.

How long did I hold it for?

I think it was three.

Or was it four?

What about exhaling?

How long was that?

Where are you, Wellsy?I thought, pulling my knees to my chest as my teeth chattered together.I really need you right now.

38

Poppy Wells

Drunken university students crashed into me as I tried to maneuver my way through the crowd. I expected it to be Jakson on the other side of the phone, so imagine my surprise when a gruff voice appeared on the other side belonging to no one other than Malakai Foster.

I’d never properly met the infamous Malakai Foster before today. Sure, I’d seen him around at the surfing competitions and all, but we’d never talked or anything like that. I think the most I’d gotten from him was a smile and a few words here and there. My scowls probably scared him off. Now that I thought about it, my birthday party was probably the first time we’d ever spoken more than a few words to each other.