Page 127 of Under the Waves
“You love it.”
I love y—
I shook my head, grinning like an absolute idiot against his skin. For a moment—one small moment, I let myselffeel—the warm droplets of water trickling down my skin, soaking my clothes so they clung to my body like an impenetrable weight. The soft rising and falling of Jasper’s chest, and the flutter of a heartbeat that mirrored my own. Here, in his arms, I wassafe.
Neither anxiety nor my mother could reach me here.
With him,I knew I always would be.
“Suddenly lost all your words, Wellsy?” he whispered slowly, gaze burning into mine as I tilted my head back, far enough to still be able to feel the warmth of his breath on my neck. “Now who’s speechless.”
Leaning closer, I suddenly became aware of how badly I wanted him to lower his lips down onto mine.
No,scratch that, I wanted him to devour me.
I pulled ever so slightly away from him, shaking all the thoughts from my head. What the hell was wrong with me?Hewas drunk. He couldn’t consent to any of that, no matter how badly we both wanted it.
I refused do that to him.
To put him in that position.
To take away his voice.
I couldn’t.
Besides, this wasJasper Ridge,the guy who had fucked with my head since we were children learning to surf for the first time. The same guy who one-upped every single one of my pranks just to get a rise out of me. I could still hear the echoes of his slow claps as I exited the water with a shiny silver medal hanging around my neck to this day.
Second wasnevergood enough for me.For either of us. But somehow, we had both gone from being ahead of the curve to falling behind everyone. Me with my mental block and Jasper barely getting scores higher than thesophomores.
Without tearing his eyes from mine, Jasper managed to keep me holding on at his waist, with my legs wrapped around him tightly, as he opened the shampoo bottle, squirting a dose of the lavender smelling liquid into his palm.
As I untangled my legs from him, he gently lowered me to the floor. I didn’t anticipate the pool of soapy water at my feet as I landed, managing to slip and go tumbling into the glass wall. Without missing a beat, Jasper reached me just in time, pulling my body to his. My breaths came out rushed and ragged, unsymmetrical to their normal rhythm yet completely in line with his.There was that invisible string, tethering you to me.
His gaze burned into mine, igniting my body to a higher degree than the hot sprays of water could ever achieve.
“T-thank y-you,” I stammered, unable to catch my breath. Jasper kept looking at me, breathing hard, as if he was trying to figure out if I was genuinely okay or not. Slowly cupping both his cheeks in the palms of my hands, I lent my forehead against his. “I’m okay, Jasper. Just breathe with me.”
“Poppy—”
“Shhh,” I whispered, drawing smooth circles with my thumbs against his burning skin. “We’re okay. We’re safe. Nothing bad is going to happen to us.”
We stayed there for a moment, just standing there in the comfort of one another, letting the water drown out the outsideworld. In here, inside these fog covered walls, it was just Jasper and I. No one could hurt us here.We weren’t broken here.
Just two rivals.
Two kids learning to heal.
One breath at a time.
As my chest quietened alongside his, I pulled back just enough to see his face through the millions of water droplets between us.
“We’re okay,” he repeated back to me slowly, taking his time with each word. I nodded softly, retracting my palms from his cheeks, the absence of his warmth hitting me like a baseball bat to the gut. It felt like I was missing a part of me whenever he wasn’t near—like this entire world was an ocean and he was the island I’d been waiting my entire life for.
Before I could even catch my breath, Jasper spun me around, hooking his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him. Streams of shampoo ran down my body and dripped down the side of my face, bringing our bodies together in a mess of lilac bubbles. The tips of my ears burned as he kissed my earlobe, the essence of him trailing down my neck and across my collarbone, leaving behind a trail of warmth and eye-fluttering pleasure.
I enabled myself to sink into his chest, letting my head fall against his shoulder blade. His hands worked their way through my curls attentively, taking his time to ensure each strand was cared for. I couldn’t afford a diffuser or fancy curl products. I hated my curls and the way they looked—frizzy and untamable and a totalmess.
And Jasper hadnoticed. Back when we werekids, he had noticed. How angry it had made me to feel disgusted at myself every time I left the house. My insecurity, myfailure. He’d noticed and he’d gone and learnt how to take care of them just to make me feelhappy.