Page 162 of Under the Waves

in the misery of me.

Little white weighing scales,

now grayaround the edges,

stared up at me with a weighted gaze.

Feet marks engraved.

A sign of love.

Of use.

Of a girl who was losing

a battle with her mind.

The noises in my head,

they screamed so loud.

And it made me think,

of everything I was,

and everything I was not.

Even after it all,

I still stepped on those scales,

and saw that number

staring back at me with a frown.

You’re too big, Poppy.

I thought you loved me, Poppy.

You can go one more day, Poppy.

Stick to the plan, Poppy.

Stop being lazy, Poppy.

Poppy.

Poppy.

Poppy.

The hairs on my neck cowered as my fingers drew near.

A sea of little red lies

bleeding from my fingertips

as I scratched away