Page 189 of Under the Waves
I never knew people could have this muchfundoing something as simple as baking. The vinyl spun around the record player, Vienna singing along wistfully, and my belly was so full of laughter I was so sure it would burst.
It partially resembled what it was supposed to look like.
I guess…if you squinted…maybe…
Yikes my ancestors would be rolling in their graves if they sawthatthing.Sorry!
“I, uh, think it looks good?” I said before biting down on my lips clearly not making it any better.
Vienna, however, just softly squeezed my shoulders from behind, looking down at the monstrosity we made. I couldn’t even tell you if that thing was edible or not.
“We smashed it, of course,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I’m sure Lia won’t mind that it’s slightly…deformed. After all, like Jakson always tells her when her own baking projects don’t go as planned, it’s the taste that counts!”
“That’s a very positive look on the situation, and very,veryJakson,” I laughed along with her.
“I love that kid, you know. God knows those parents do absolutely nothing to help that poor boy. You know, the last time they even visited him was last year at Christmas? They missed his birthday this year, and it certainly hasnotbeen the first time that’s happened. I just wish I could walk into that mansion and bundle him up in my arms and keep him. Show him the love he deserved to have growing up, you know?”
I kept quiet, processing everything. I knew there was something up with Jakson, something more than he was letting on, but I didn’t think it was…
“I’m sure he appreciates you,” I hurried to say,because I definitely did.
“That’s sweet of you to say, Poppy, thank you. Him, Lia, Jasper,you…I just want to keep you all bundled up in here, safe from this horrible world we live in. I know they say all that about how pain makes you stronger, but you were all only kids, you didn’t need to be strong. Not like that, anyway.”
I turned away, counting to ten in my head to stop myself from crying.Again.What was it with the Ridge family and having such a way with words? And how did they both manage to make me cry so easily?
I shoved the thoughts down deep inside of me.
Locked them up and threw away the key.
“Poppy—” she consoled, gently reaching out as if to place her hand on my shoulder.
I flinched.
The eyes of my mother flashed before me.
I remembered it all too well.
Vienna’s saddened eyes met mine, a soft sort of understanding shining within them. I didn’t want to know what she saw when she looked at me—all the smudges of purple and hues of blue that decorated my skin like the tattooed kiss of a butterfly’s wing.
Such a hideous little creature.Such a disappointment.
Would that be how it would be for the rest of my life? To be scared of the simple flesh of another? Was this just another way in which I was…broken?
“Oh, sweetie,” she smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “Jasper, my boy, he didn’t speak a word about what you went through last night—only that if I tried to take you away from him, he would tear apart the world to get you back. He’s always been the kind of person who felt too much, even as a child. He reminds me so much of his father every passing day—always wanting to be everything for everyone all at once at the expense of his own happiness.”
She paused then, eyes closing for the briefest of moments. Only then did I realize she was trying to hold back tears, trying to be strong forme, but if there was one thing I knew about the Ridge family, it was that true strength stemmed from vulnerability. They lent on each other. They found strength within one another.
They were a family I found myself longing to be a part of.
“When I first met his father, it was during a period of my life I long to forget about and leave behind me, but he…he refused to leave my side until I saw the beauty in my scars the same way he did. It took time, a lot of time actually, but gradually, I came to terms with the girl I had lost and the girl I had become, and suddenly the darkness didn’t seem so scary anymore. He was my universe, Poppy. I was blind to any future where he was not by my side. But even I was powerless when the universe decided that our time together had run out. He saved me, Poppy, in every way I possibly could have been saved, and there isn’t a day that goes by where I am not grateful for the kindness he showed me on that first day and for every day that followed. I guess…” She looked at me then, gently holding out her hand to me to take.
She was giving me achoice.
For once in my life,Icould choose.
And she had given that to me.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, even though I don’t know the whole story, I recognize the signs and the bruises and the look of pure, unyielding terror in your eyes. I lived half of my life in fear, not of the unknown, but under the very roof that was supposed to protect me from it, and I think you might resonate with that too. You will always have a choice with me, Poppy. You will never have to do anything you don’t want to do. You deserve a future where you get to choose your own path and make your own decisions. Gosh, Poppy…you deserve it all.”