Page 194 of Under the Waves

You’re with Jasper.

In his room.

He’s holding you against him.

He’s telling you he’ll protect you.

Arms hooked around my legs and waist, the world swayingfrom side to side.

You’re watching Marvel movies.

But he’s looking at you.

There’s popcorn scattered across the mattress.

Laughter in the air.

He wants to tell you that he lov—

“Y-you k-killed O-Ols,” I stuttered, lips numbing with every word until they hung open waiting for their puppet string to be pulled.

No one answered.

The guilt I’d carried around every day since, the guilt from thinking it was my fault, thatIwas responsible, shattered into a million little pieces.

Nicotine and vodka purged my senses.

I was back inside that house.

I was going to die inside that house.

“Close your eyes, Poppy. The pain will all go away soon.”

I couldn’t tell who was speaking anymore.

Cries echoed in the distance.

The world caved in.

One final time.

Burning and bright.

And as much as I fought, as much as I tried, my eyelids fluttered closed.

Heavy and exhausted.

Don’t give up on me.

I projected into the darkness in one last attempt hoping that, somehow, Jasper might just hear me.

D-don’t f-forget me.

Please…

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Jasper Ridge