Page 38 of Under the Waves

I shook my head free of that thought train. Kids made things up all the time. I was sure it was nothing, and even if I told someone…what if I was wrong? Then I would’ve destroyed a perfectly good family just because I was projecting my own family trauma onto them, you know? Hearing what you want to hear and all that.

I watched him guide the little girl through the waves, telling her exactly what to do and what to look out for. He was gentle and patient with her, and it was like seeing a side to him I’d never seen before. A side of him that was actually sweet and kind. A side that I didn’t get to see because he hated me.

The thought suddenly made me feel…what exactly?

I didn’t deserve to see any other side of him apart from the cocky and snarky teenage boy who had replaced my wax with lip balm so I’d have no grip and make a complete fool of myself on the waves in that heat.

Maybe—maybe,I could let myself be vulnerable enough to feel anything but hatred towards him. But hatred was soeasyto feel, especially towards Jasper Ridge. Maybe that was because he made it easy by battling with me, adding petroleum into this growing wildfire between us. As if from the very first glance, he knew that was what I needed.

I needed something real and raw and passionate and fiery—something other than what this town had given me. I was so sick of fake love and adoration. No one was real with me and I hated them for it. I was being crushed underneath all of their weight and maybe he saw that. Maybe Jasper Ridge did save me in that way, but it hardly counted if he also helped break me.

Regardless, in the end, I hated him and that should’ve been enough for me.

But why was it suddenly not?

I forced myself to continue walking away, the sun following me until it settled beneath the horizon leaving a lonely darkness in its wake. When I pushed open the front door and shut myself in my room, I realized that my mom was still not talking to me.

I didn’t sleep that night until four in the morning and only when I dragged my ass out of bed two hours later did I realize that I had made the stupid mistake of leaving my hoodie draped over the couch because when I looked in the pockets, I cursed so loudly the floorboards beneath my feet shook.

My money was gone.

15

Jasper Ridge

Ihadneverhated the universe more than I did when I found out that Daniel had hired Poppy behind my back.The slimy bastard. HeknewI couldn’t stand her, and he did it anyway. Isa had always preached about how we should put aside our differences and work together, but I shut that down every time she brought it up.

Poppy and I would nevereverbe friends.

I didn’t think she saw me, but I saw her this morning down at the beach up to her waist in the salty water. She looked so fucking small and scared—it made me want to find whoever made her feel like that and dig them an early grave. She was so frail and thin now, never meeting my eyes down the street—or anyone’s, for that matter.

She used to be so confident in who she was, andfuck,it was amazing to see her so unbothered by everything. Granted, I didn’t do much to help the situation…but I did get suspended a few times for fighting my classmates for picking on her the year she left without a word. The teachers didn’t give a fuck about how badly they were treating her or the things they said about her, so I made sure everyone knew to keep their mouths shut around her or they’d deal with a whole load of shit from Sonny and I.

Lia wanted to help too but she was so quiet then that no one really noticed her in class. Even the girls that fawned over Jakson weren’t jealous of her because they didn’t even see her as worthy enough to compete with.

Still, Jakson always sent the girls away if even her micro-expressions changed to show a hint of discomfort. That was just who he was. Even though, according to the rumors, he fucked his way through the school, I knew it was all just an act to keep himself away from her because he was so scared of ruining the friendship he had built with her.

When I confronted him about it years ago, he looked at me like he wanted to beat me to death. I stopped pushing him about his situation with Lia, never really bringing it up again. He knew if he hurt her in any way, I would murder him and then murder his ghost repetitively after that. But to my surprise, he agreed with me, saying that if he did end up breaking her heart, he deserved to have that happen to him.

That alone earned him some respect from me.

I remembered Lia once telling me that she and Sonny were just a part of different worlds, people from opposite sides of the train tracks. That anything other than friends with him just wasn’t in the cards for someone like her.

After middle school, Sonny and I were supposed to go our separate ways, but I managed to pull a scholarship to the Elite Academy out of my ass and every year that followed up until now.

Lia was also set to attend Hawthorne Hills High. Surprisingly, I had no idea how she managed to get accepted to the Elite Academy, but she started there in the winter after transferring out of Hawthorne Hills High. I always suspected something had happened to her in those months all alone but Lia never brought it up, so I never pushed.

I had a sneaking suspicion that her transfer, in fact, had everything to do with a certain Calloway, but it wasn’t a subjectI pushed with either of them. Over the years, I’d learnt to stay clear of their complex friendship. I didn’t even think it was something I could understand even if they did tell me. It seemed to work for them, whatever it was they were doing, and so long as they were happy, that was enough for me.

The cookbooks piled up in my hands were covered in so much dust it was impossible to go three minutes without sneezing. Since I usually crashed at Jakson’s place, it would’ve normally only taken me around half an hour to get to Lia’s but because I was at home, it only took me a walk down the driveway to next door. Her mom and mine were best friends in college and moved to the same town next door to each other. They had this idea of raising their kids together and having them get married so they could be like sisters.

B unluckily for them, that was never going to happen. Lia and I were best friends, and I loved her like my own little sister. She felt the same and that was all it was ever going to be between us.

Just as I was about to knock, the door flung open, and my heart stopped beating. Lia stood in the entrance with a screaming Hudson on her hip, her eyes red and swollen with fresh tears and her cheeks split open and heavily bruised.

“Lia—”

“Don’t,” she snapped, voice hoarse and quiet.