Page 40 of Under the Waves
Her glossy eyes looked at mine after a minute, but there was nothing normal about them—she was already crawling deep into her own mind and if I didn’t get her to Jakson’s soon, he might not be able to pull her back out.
She was in shock, and her way of processing everything was to bury and ignore it, but when these incidents happened, she buried herself—she burrowed so deep inside her own mind it was like she was a ghost, barely responsive to anything. She’d wrap her arms around herself and rock back and forth for hours on end trying to piece together everything inside her mind, turning over each scenario a thousand different times.
Walking over, Lia picked Hudson up and rested him on her hip as she told the twins to hold hands together as she held on tightly to Logan’s. Belle huffed, watching her siblings walk down the drive and onto the pavement.
“Now you,” I frowned softly. I wasn’t mad at her,how could I be?I just needed her to know that she couldn’t speak like that to Lia. That girl had done everything for everyone since their oldest brother Gabriel disappeared.
“Don’t hit me, please. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it, I promise!”She squeezed her eyes shut and caved in on herself, bracing her body for the hit she expected to come…but never did.
Slowly, I walked up to her and sat down beside her on the porch steps. She peaked out through her fingers covering her eyes before lowering them, confused. The expression on her face was fear in its purest form and it made me want to vomit.
I put my hands gently on my lap, one resting against each thigh so she could easily see them. “I’m not going to hurt you, Bells. Ever. You know that, right?”
“But—but I thought…that’s what everyone does. When you’re mad, you hit. That’s how it goes.” She stopped herself from speaking anymore, clenching her fists and biting down on her bottom lip to stop herself from crying.
“It’s okay to cry,” I whispered, loud enough that she would’ve been able to hear it. “Sometimes being strong is knowing when to be weak, Bells. You don’t have to do this all on your own, okay? You have me, and Uncle Jak, and all your siblings. We’re all here for you.”
“But—but crying is bad. It makes you weak. I don’t want to be weak.” Her voice broke and she turned away from me, ashamed. “He says I’m weak, Jas.”
“I’m going to touch your face, okay? I’m not going to hit you, I promise.” I slowly lifted my finger under her chin and turned it towards me so I could see her face. There was a small cut beside her eye and a small dot of blood above it. I could fucking bury those bastard parents of hers and not feel an inch of guilt about it. “You are anything but weak, do you hear me? You are so strong Bells. So fricken strong.”
“Stronger than you?” she whispered.
I nodded, feeling tears form in my own eyes, but instead of fighting them, I let them fall. She watched as they dripped down my cheeks with an expression I could decipher. I needed her to know it was okay. It was so fucking okay to cry.
“So much stronger than me.” I smiled, wiping the tears from my cheeks, “and don’t tell him, but you’re even stronger than Uncle Jak.”
Her face lit up at my words. “Really?”
“Oh yeah, big time.”
Just seeing the way her expression changed from fearful to lighting up like the fucking sun made my heart ache so loudly Icould hear it pounding in my ears.
She was such a good kid, and she deserved none of this.
“I’m going to tell him you said that.” She beamed at me, wiping her own eyes.
I gasped exaggeratedly, my hand shooting to cover my heart like I was in trenches of pain with her betrayal. “How could you do me in like that Bells? I thought we were friends!”
She laughed and my god did the sound soothe every nerve in my body.
“You’re still my favorite.” She sighed.
“Yeah?” I smiled at her, nudging her side. “You’re my favorite, too.”
She shot up onto her feet, holding her hand out to me. “Does this mean I can come to movie night?”
I chuckled, taking her hand and standing. “We’ll give Jakson our best, most extra cute puppy eyes when we get there so he can’t say no. Let’s practice. Let me see those gorgeous eyes, princess.”
She flashed her cute little puppy eyes at me and good fucking luck to Jakson saying no to those. I gave her a high five. “That’s my girl. Now come on, let’s go.”
I bent down and she climbed up my back onto my shoulders. As we walked, she made me stop a few times so she could admire and sniff the colorful flowers along the way. She picked a few of them and tried to braid them into my hair like in Rapunzel as she hummed along to some of her favorite songs as she braided.
I asked her about the surf lessons and how she liked them. I’d been giving her some extra lessons after her main classes along with Juniper and Pepe. Lia was the one who suggested I ask Belle to be a part of the scheme to help kids be more confident with water safety and the ocean. She cared for her sister more than she’d ever know.
Belle rambled on about how she liked being out on the waves and damn if I didn’t feel a little bit proud that she liked being out there on the water as much as me. She talked about Juniper and Pepe and how they’re now all best friends.
“Poppy’s nice too. She let me take charge like a real princess.”