Page 73 of Under the Waves

“This is my surfing competition, Wellsy. I’d have shown up at some point.”

Right.

I fought the embarrassment induced blush itching to coat my cheeks in a bright red target.I was such an idiot.

“Of course,” I breathed.

That’s it.

Put on a smile.

Put on a show.

Pretend it’s okay, Poppy.

Pretend you’re okay.

Pretend.

Pretend.

Pretend.

Another kiss.

A squeeze of his arms around me.

A tentative hug—a gentle reminder.

Jasper Ridge, stop making me feel safe around you.

It’s only going to hurt so much more when you leave.

I didn’t think I could survive losing this—losinghim.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against my skin so quietly I almost missed it.

He was still hugging me.

He hadn’t let go.

“What do you have to feel sorry about?” I whispered back. I tried to turn around to meet his eyes but his grip tightened, holding me in place. He didn’t want me to see him, so I didn’t fight his touch—I let him lean on me and be the safe space he had become for me.

“I didn’t realize you had a mental block. If I did, I wouldn’t have made that bet with you.Fuck, I wouldn’t have put you inany position that you didn’t want to be in. And for yesterday too, I’m sorry I pushed you into meeting my friends. I should’ve given you the choice to meet them in the first place, and for that, I’m sorry. I get why you ran, I do. I just wished you would’ve told me first, Poppy. In future, please tell me because I will always listen. God, if you talked to me about paint drying I’d listen. I don’t care what they say, I’ll always listen toyou, okay?Always.”

I couldn’t breathe, yet alone think straight.

He seemed to do that to me.

The only person capable of making me speechless.

The only person capable of making me feelsafe.

Maybe, just once, I could let myself be open with him.

No.

The second you open up to him,