Page 98 of Under the Waves

He didn’t laugh. I didn’t know why I expected him to.

In fact, the only indication that he’d heard my remark came from the fact that his grip had tightened near suffocating.

“Fine!” I sighed, shaking my head. “Fuckingfine.”

Jasper stopped walking, and soon after I found both my feet planted back on the floor.

“I’mnotokay. Is that what you want to hear, asshole?”

His brows pinched. “Why would that be what I want to hear, Wellsy?”

I scoffed. “Um, I don’t know because you hate me, maybe?”

“I don’t hate you,” he gritted out.

“Wow. And the award for best actor goes to,” I handed him an imaginary trophy, but he didn’t play along. Instead, he stood there looking at me like I’d slapped him across the face.

“Why is that so hard for you to accept? Is it so hard for you to understand that some people might actuallylikeyou, Wellsy?” He exhaled a harsh breath, scratching his jaw as I stood in silence, heart not beating, lungs not breathing. “Justtalkto me.Please. What are you so afraid of, Poppy?”

You. My parents. The world.

Myself.

Why was I afraid?

Because every time I went home, my parents gave me a reason to be.

The evidence was sewn across my skin.

Splotches of violet.

Lines of red.

Fading.

Fading.

F a d i n g.

Erased.

I was their notebook.

They liked to scribble in the margins.

But when they got mad,

they ripped out the pages.

Again. And again. And again.

They got mad a lot.

I became so thin.

Because that was the thing with notebooks.

Once the pages were gone,