Page 56 of An Alien for Her Heart

Goddammit. You don’t fall in love at my age because—

Because everyone I’ve ever loved is gone.

The thought hits me like a punch to the gut. They’re all gone. And now, I’m terrified that I’ll lose Varek too. That I’ll let myself love him, only to have him ripped away from me. The fear is a paralyzing, cold, hard knot in my stomach.

I sink into a chair, burying my face in my hands.

“Goodness, girl,” I whisper to the silent room. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

I don’t know how long I stay like that before I find the strength to rise. To continue on with my day.

I go about my tasks mechanically, tending to the farm, to the animals, but my mind is never fully present. It’s always wandering, always drifting back to him. To the feel of his claws on my skin, the heat of his breath against my neck, the overwhelming passion and tenderness in his eyes as he moved within me.

At the end of the fourth day, I catch myself watching the horizon, my heart leaping at every distant sound, hoping against hope to see his transport rumbling down the path. But he doesn’t come. And with each day that passes, the weight in my chest grows heavier, the doubts and fears louder.

By the fifth day, I’m a mess of raw nerves and restless energy. I snap at the animals, drop tools with shaking hands, and find myself blinking back tears at the most inopportune moments. I’m torn between the desperate desire to seek him out, even while knowing I can never offer him all of myself.

So I stay put. I focus on my work. I try not to—

My head snaps up the moment I hear the engine. Before me, an umu bleats at me in annoyance, its eyes on the tuft of hay being squeezed tight in my fist. Releasing the food, I hurry from the barn, heart in my throat. I look a mess, my hair damp against my head from sweating all day, my tunic stained with dirt and God knows what. But I can’t stop myself from hurrying to the yard.

My heart gives a big, heavy thud the moment I see the light reflect off those beautiful scales.

Varek is just walking past the gate when he stops in his tracks. For a moment, our eyes lock, and the air between uscrackles with tension. My breath catches in my throat as I take him in.

He looks tired, his scales less vibrant than usual, and there’s a new scar on his jaw, as well as faint darkened spots on his chest that look like bruises underneath his scales. Neither was there before. My heart clenches at the sight, and I have to resist the urge to run to him, to trace the marks with my fingertips and demand to know what happened.

But I don’t. I can’t. Instead, I force a smile, trying to ignore the way my heart is pounding in my chest.

“Varek,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “You’re back.”

“Apologies for the delay, sura.” Sura. My entire being warms at the nickname. “There were…complications.” He looks like he’s been through something, but his eyes—they’re as intense and captivating as ever, holding mine with a mix of determination and something else, something that makes my breath catch in my throat.

I swallow hard, my emotions a tangled mess. Relief, anger, longing—they all swirl within me, making it hard to think straight. “Complications?” I manage to say. “You look like you’ve been through a war.”

He gives a small, wry smile that flashes one of his fangs and I stare at his lips, only remembering what they felt like against my own. “Something like that. But I’m here now.”

I blink away my lust, scolding myself, as my focus shifts back to his eyes. A moment passes between us, one that feels like the air is charged and heavy with the weight of unsaid words. “Varek…is everything alright?”

For the briefest moment, something passes behind his eyes. And in that moment, it’s like I heard every single word he wants to say but doesn’t. That he missed me, that he’s been through hell, that he’s here now and needs this as much as I do.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and nods. “Everything is fine now, Catherine. I promise.”

I nod back, not fully believing him but choosing to let it slide for now. “Come inside. You look like you could use a rest.”

He follows me into the house, and I can feel his presence behind me, steady and comforting despite the tension that still crackles between us. I motion for him to sit at the table, even as I try to ignore the fact that his sweet scent seems to be chasing out every other scent that had been present in the room. Now he dominates the space in my mindandin my home.

“I’ll get something for those bruises.” My voice is steady but my heart isn’t. “And some food. You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”

He sits, watching me with those intense eyes as I move around the kitchen, gathering supplies. The familiarity of the room helps to calm my racing heart, but I can still feel the weight of his gaze on me, a constant reminder of the unresolved tension between us.

I bring over a bowl of water and a clean cloth, sitting down beside him to tend to his wounds. My hands tremble slightly as I dab at the bruise on his jaw, and he closes his eyes, leaning into my touch.

“Thank you, sura,” he murmurs, and the warmth in his voice sends a shiver down my spine.

Fuck.

I rarely curse, but FUCK!