Page 61 of An Alien for Her Heart
“I thought I lost you,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion. “When I saw you in this well, so still and pale, I thought…”
He trails off, his throat working as he swallows hard. I reach up, covering his claw with my hand, turning my face to press a kiss to his palm.
“I’m here,” I murmur. “Thanks to you, I’m still here.”
He pulls me closer, our foreheads touching as we breathe each other in. In this moment, suspended in the starlit water, it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. Like nothing else matters but the beat of our hearts, the mingling of our breaths.
“I can’t lose you,” Varek says again, his voice a low rumble that I feel in my bones. “I won’t.”
There’s a fierce promise in those words, an unshakable resolve. I know, with a sudden, blinding clarity, that he means it. That he would move heaven and earth to keep me safe, to keep me by his side.
The realization is humbling, overwhelming in its intensity. But it’s also thrilling, igniting a spark in my chest that grows into a steady, unwavering flame.
Because I feel the same. In this short time, Varek has become essential to me, as vital as the air in my lungs and the blood in my veins. The thought of losing him, of being without him...it’s unimaginable.
Unacceptable.
And maybe that’s why my throat moves, why my tongue cooperates even before I fully realize what I’m about to do.
“Varek, the other night, at the festival…”
He freezes. Goes so completely still I can feel it.
“Yes, sura?” I can feel the hesitation in his tone. The uncertainty surrounding what I’m about to say. Because after so long, this is the first time we’re going to talk about this.
“...would you like to—”
“Yes.”
My heart thuds against my chest. “You don’t even know what I’m asking.” I could chuckle but I’m still a bit too cold and I don’t want my teeth to start chattering again.
“When it concerns you, I will always say yes.”
I close my eyes for a moment, a shudder going through me. Varek tucks me closer, running his large claw across my spine.
“Even if it means dating someone like me?” He’s so silent, that I continue on. “I’m not looking for someone who will be with me for just a few nights. Ideally, I want more. I want a partner. A companion. Someone to—” This time I’m the one that goes silent. I haven’t had the chance to gather my thoughts. This must all be confusing to him seeing as it’s so sudden. “What I’m trying to say is—”
“I want to be your mate.”
My mouth falls open in stunned silence. I blink up at him, my heart pounding so hard I’m sure he can feel it where our chests are pressed together. “You...you want to be my mate?” I whisper, hardly daring to believe it.
Varek nods, his gaze unwavering. “I have for a while now,” he admits softly. “From the moment I first saw you. The more time I’ve spent with you, the deeper it’s grown.”
He takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself. “I know it might seem sudden, and I understand if you need time. But I need you to know that for me, this is true. I…want you, Catherine. I need you.”
His words knock the breath from my lungs. A mate. A lifelong partner. It’s everything I’ve wanted, everything I thought I could no longer have.
And here is Varek, this incredible, amazing male, offering it to me. Offering himself to me, wholly and unreservedly.
“I know you might be concerned there is no confirmation you are my kahl, that my core-rhythm has not sung. I am a brute for wanting to claim you without giving you that confirmation. But believe me when I say I feel you in my soul. Each sol when I leave this place, it’s like tearing a part of myself away. I am a brute you should reject and yet…” His eyes search mine. “I am selfish enough to still want you for my own.”
His words are a bit confusing. A part of me feels like my heart is floating on a cloud while another part of me is confused. And then I remember what he said that time when referring to Eleanor and Zynar.
When he said he’d been there to protect Eleanor from his brother.
Searching his eyes, I know that right now, we’ve both laid our hearts open bare. Varek wants me as much as I want him. And after tonight, despite whatever is thrown at me, I won’t deny it anymore.
But I need to know.