Page 17 of Beautiful Crazy
“Oh, yes, he was,” she argues, pouring herself another glass of wine. “I told her that she should have a little fun with him.”
“I mean, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea,” Georgia chimes in. “I’d say you were due for some dick, Gem.”
“Have you…” Charley glances at all of us before landing on me, her voice quieter. “Have you been with anybody since…?”
I wince, my cheeks heating as I shake my head. “No, I haven’t.”
Dylan died when Sutton was a toddler. He was a trucker and was killed in an accident when he was away from home for work. We met when we were kids, started dating in middle school, and got married right out of high school. Losing him was hard, especially since he was all I had ever known. It was an adjustment, learning to live by myself—with our child—and be independent, when for so much of my life, I leaned on him for everything.
“Honey, it’s time you get back out there,” Georgiamurmurs, and I know she’s not judging me. None of them judge me.
“I have way too much on my plate right now, and with Sutton… I can’t.”
For several years after Dylan’s passing, I couldn’t even think about dating or moving on. It hurt too much. But as time has gone by, it’s become less about the hurt and more about just not wanting to go there. As a single mom, I have my son to think about. The idea of meeting somebody, introducing him to Sutton, only to have us break up guts me because I know Sutton would probably get attached.
I can’t do that to him. He doesn’t deserve that, not when he already feels like the odd one out amongst his friends because he doesn’t have a dad in his life. When I look at the big picture, and what it could mean for Sutton, the idea of dating ends up feeling selfish, and not at all worth it. Hence why I’ve chosen to be alone all these years.
“Gem, nobody is suggesting you dive into some serious relationship,” Grace chimes in softly. “But you deserve to have some fun every now and again.”
“I have fun,” I argue, knowing it’s weak.
Grace looks at me deadpan. “Oh, yeah? When?”
“Bachelornights with you guys are fun.”
Georgia snorts out a laugh. “Not what we meant. You need to get you some naked, sweaty, roll-around-in-the-sheets type of fun. The type that has your toes curling and your eyes rolling back.”
“Easy for you to say,” I mumble before taking a verylargedrink of my wine. Georgia is the most cynical one out of all of us. She doesn’t date, doesn’t do relationships or feelings, but she does do casual, meaningless sex. And to behonest, I kind of look up to her for it. She has no problem taking exactly what she wants and not feeling sorry about it.Having funis easy for her because she has the experience.
But me? Dylan is the only man I have ever been with, and the last time we were together was over six years ago. To say the idea of putting myself out there is daunting would be a massive understatement.
“You can’t be alone for the rest of your life, Gem,” Georgia says. “You’re young and hot and deserve to have some fun. It doesn’t have to be something that turns into anything serious. It could just be no-strings fun.”
“But what if I can’t do no-strings fun? The only man I’ve ever been with was the man I ended up marrying. I think it’s safe to say there were definitely strings there.” I can’t help but laugh at myself.
Shrugging, Georgia offers, “You never know until you try, sis. And if this neighbor is as hot as they say he is, and he flirts with you, meaning he’s probably interested, what better opportunity?”
With an eye roll, I pin Grace with a look. “One thing our dear sister forgot to mention when she brought him up is that he isn’t just my new neighbor.” Glancing at Georgia, I mutter, “He’s also Sutton’s new teacher.”
“Oh, shit.” Georgia chuckles. “Yeah, that may make things a bit more complicated, but also, hot.”
Ignoring the last bit, I say, “You think? I can’t fall into bed with my son’s new teacher, strings or not.”
“Oh, come on,” Grace grumbles. “Live a little, Gem! What if he’s your soul mate? What if you guys fall madly in love?”
My eyes widen as I choke on the wine I just took in, astream of it dribbling down my chin. Leave it to Grace to get all fairy tale on me.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Georgia nearly chokes on her wine. “Slow down, Grace. You’re not helping my case here. I’m suggesting some no-strings fun to get herself back on the horse.”
“That’s what she said,” Charley cuts in, snickering at her own joke, and I can’t help but laugh too.
“And you’re over here telling her to jump off the deep end. That’s not what she needs.”
Grace rolls her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with a little love.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you,” Georgia mutters. “I’m just saying, that shouldn’t be the goal for her right now. That’s way too overwhelming.”
I hold up a hand. “You both can save your breath because I’m not having no-strings fun or falling in love with my next-door neighbor slash child’s teacher. Neither will be happening. Ever.”